Your community association wants to build a swimming pool so that inhabitants can enjoy their leisure time. They are considering two possible options whether to build an indoor pool which is more expensive but can be enjoyed year around or to build an outdoor pool. The association wants your opinion. Which choice do you prefer? Explain why you prefer that choice. Also explain the problems with the other choice.

#community #association #pool #inhabitants #leisure #time #two #options #year #choice

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In my view, opting for constructing an indoor

pool

outweighs choosing an outdoor swimming

pool

for the dwellers. The preference is grounded in multifarious factors that I will delineate in the subsequent sections. To commence, one of the rationales for my standpoint is that building an indoor

pool

will open

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

opportunities for the residents to

excess

Add a missing verb

have excess

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

amusement

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all over the year.

Moreover

, even though an indoor

pool

is more

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

but

Correct word choice

apply

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if we consider the accessibility

then

the infrastructure cost does not matter.

Apart from

this

, we can build the

pool

inside the community

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

hall and

extra

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the extra

show examples

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

can be managed

from

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show examples

the philanthropists in our community. Having a

pool

in an open space won’t be effective for us, as most of the time in a year our area is covered with snow.

Consequently

, the inhabitants can only enjoy swimming during summer, and maintenance is necessary even

though

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apply

show examples

if we do not use it in winter. After considering all the arguments, I assert that building an indoor

pool

holds a leaning over

swimming

Correct article usage

a swimming

show examples

pool

in an open area. I appreciate the chance to express my perspective.

Submitted by Lisa Bhuiyan on Mon May 13 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay provides a clear response to the task, effectively detailing your preference and reasoning. To enhance your score further, try to include more specific examples or data to support your arguments. This could elevate the depth of your response and make it more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try varying your sentence structures and linking words to enrich text flow and cohesion. Your essay is well-organized, but using a wider range of transitions could make the connections between your ideas even smoother.

Logical Structure

You have neatly structured your essay, presenting a clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. This strong structure aids the reader's understanding and engagement.

Supported Main Points

You did well to cover both the advantages of your preferred option and address potential issues with the alternative, which demonstrates a comprehensive approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

191 words

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