IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that children’s success in adulthood is related to the way they have been raised by their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children’s #success #adulthood #parents
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The achievements of any person through various aspects of
life
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 based on their upbringing by their
parents
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.
Although
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 some people might disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement, I fully
aggree
Correct your spelling
agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
parents
Use synonyms
 play a major part in their
life
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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constant support
Change preposition
for
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whatever obstacles their children may face. One of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
Use synonyms
parent's
Change the noun form
parents
parent
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 have a strong
infuence
Correct your spelling
influence
 on their children's growth. They have a responsibility to take care of them and
also
Linking Words
 to give
enough
Correct pronoun usage
them enough
show examples
 time to solve any issues from sickness to whatever problems in
life
Use synonyms
 there
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
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. Despite whatever state their
parents
Use synonyms
 are
, they
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in, they
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 are able to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extremes in order to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 their child's dream.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 they might have other people in
life
Use synonyms
 , a person could be sure of the fact that their
Use synonyms
parent's
Change the noun form
parents
parent
show examples
 would be a constant cheerleader regardless of whatever situations they are in.
For instance
Linking Words
, if they feel overwhelmed with
saddness
Correct your spelling
sadness
, they know that they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 rely on their
Use synonyms
parent's
Change noun form
parents
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 to cheer and motivate them. Even if no
will
Correct pronoun usage
one will
show examples
 be there, they surely know that their
Use synonyms
parent's
Change the noun form
parents
parent
show examples
 will be there through thick and thin. In conclusion,
parents
Use synonyms
 play a great role
to ensure
Change preposition
in ensuring
show examples
 that their children reach the goals that they wish to reach through their moral support and influence in their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by leo645325 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear and focused thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wide range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and keep the reader engaged.
Task Achievement
To boost your score, include more specific examples that directly support your main points.
Task Achievement
Your essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistent with the requirements of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a logical flow of ideas, which enhances the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good use of transitional phrases to link ideas and paragraphs, aiding in the overall structure of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting style
  • authoritative
  • authoritarian
  • permissive
  • uninvolved
  • socially competent
  • academic achievements
  • parental involvement
  • conducive
  • academic success
  • motivation
  • confidence
  • expectations
  • resilience
  • challenges
  • socioeconomic status
  • extracurricular activities
  • stable living environment
  • opportunities
  • mitigate
What to do next:
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