Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Currently, technological devices have become widely popular in societies, especially

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among

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youngsters. Many people believe that there are many benefits because of their functions and utilities,

however

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, reliance on technology is a

theat

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threat

to our growth as human

beigns

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beings

For

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this

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reason, I staunchly believe that cutting-edge technologies should be carefully used, and their widespread

implement

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implementation

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have

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has

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many drawbacks. In

this

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essay, I will explain my reasons in detail. To start with,

it is clear that

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since computers and other types of gadgets have been created, people

spent

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spend

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most of their time on

the

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apply

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social media.

Then

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, social skills have been

asided

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aided

aside

as well as

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interpersonal communication has decreased dramatically.

This

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means, that humankind has replaced their traditional activities,

such

Linking Words

Wrong verb form

sharing

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high-quality time with their families, reading, etc.

Therefore

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, people tend to be more isolated

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apply

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leading to more prevalence of mental diseases, exemplified by depression, anxiety, bipolarity, etc.

Additionally

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addiction

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the addiction

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rate to smartphones has

exponencially

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exponentially

increase

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increased

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, and the population use those devices during the whole day. As a

consenquece

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consequence

this

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, sedentarism is becoming more frequent

as well as

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the prevalence of chronic diseases with higher cardiovascular risk.

For example

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, The American Heart Association recently published that obesity proportion has climbed by 30%

due to

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lack

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a lack

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of physical activity.

Besides

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, sleep hygiene

is not employ

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is not employed

is not employing

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because phones are used almost overnight.

To sum up

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, technology should be restricted in communities, mainly in children and

adolescence

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adolescents

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owing to their addiction risk.

Besides

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, ancient costumes and social behaviours should not be replaced by the usage of

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innovative

innovatives

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innovative

technologies.

Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on Mon May 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Be mindful of varied sentence structure to enhance readability.

task achievement

Clarify and expand on examples to strengthen arguments.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy, while small mistakes might not significantly affect your score, consistent errors can be distracting.

task achievement

Focus on answering both parts of the question thoroughly to ensure a complete response.

coherence cohesion

You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, establishing your main arguments clearly.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported and accompanied by explanations, though could benefit from more detailed examples.

task achievement

You've engaged with the topic deeply and explored significant consequences of technology usage, demonstrating a good understanding of the issue.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Topic 18: Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say that it is only useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and gives your own opinion.

with the pressures on today's young people to Succeed academically. Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school eg. physical education and cookery should be removed from the syllabus so that chicken can concentrate wholly on acadesoic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it's effect on a child.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?