More and more people are leaving countryside to live in cities. Do more advantages or disadvantages of this development for environment

#people #countryside #cities #development #environment

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In today's world, there is an increasing number of

people

Use synonyms

who decided to move out from their countryside to live in towns.

While

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it seems to be beneficial in terms of improving the quality of

people

Use synonyms

's lives, it holds many challenges and obstacles.

This

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essay will discuss the pros and cons of

this

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phenomenon.

To begin

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with, deciding to move out and live in the towns or main

cities

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is life life-changing step. Living in a city can contribute to enhancing individuals' lives and opening the doors for more opportunities.

For example

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people

Use synonyms

can guarantee well-rounded education and healthcare services.

Additionally

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, they can find many work opportunities and well-paying jobs.

Thus

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, transferring to

cities

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can ensure individuals with high-quality living.

However

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on the other hand

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, leaving

countryside

Correct article usage

the countryside

show examples

or rural areas and settling in

cities

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can bring numerous negativities. including unhealthy lifestyles, environmental challenges , and high living costs.

For example

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people

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who live in rural areas have fewer health problems compared to those who live in urban areas given their healthy and manufactured foods.

Moreover

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, they are less likely to spend much money on life's demands

such

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as transportation, groceries, and more. In conclusion, the phenomenon of moving to urban

cities

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is incredibly increasing.

However

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, it has its positive and negative sides.

While

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people

Use synonyms

can ensure excellent work opportunities and well-rounded services, they may struggle with high living costs and health issues.

Submitted by marammajid1999 on Mon May 13 2024

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task achievement

Your essay does a good job of addressing both advantages and disadvantages of moving from the countryside to cities. However, it can be improved by providing more concrete examples and data to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific studies or statistics that highlight the differences in healthcare or job opportunities between rural and urban areas.

task achievement

While your introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, try to avoid repetition. For example, your conclusion restates the points made in the introduction almost verbatim. Using some different words or adding additional insights in the conclusion can make it more engaging and insightful.

coherence cohesion

Your essay structure is generally clear, but some transitions could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing healthcare and education to the disadvantages of urban living could be more seamless. Consider using transitional phrases like 'on the flip side' or 'conversely' to guide your reader.

coherence cohesion

Break down long sentences into shorter ones to improve readability. For example, the first sentence in the second paragraph is quite long and could be split for better clarity.

task achievement

Your essay clearly addresses the topic and stays relevant throughout. Both advantages and disadvantages are covered, giving a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to give your essay a logical structure. This helps the reader to follow your argument more easily.

coherence cohesion

You have used appropriate vocabulary and grammar, making your essay easy to read and understand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

232 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

urbanization
ecosystems
economies of scale
public transportation
reforestation
rewilding
biodiversity
pollution
waste production
habitat destruction
fragmentation
traditional agricultural practices
sustainable
recycling
waste management
heat islands
global warming
climate change
rural-to-urban shift

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More and more people are leaving countryside to live in cities. Do more advantages or disadvantages of this development for environment

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of peoplehave become dependent on technology as it plays a big role in our daily lives.Do you agree that living in computer age has more advantages than disadvantages. Describe the positive andnegative impacts of technology on our lives and give your opinion.

Research into new types of medicine is essential to improve health and deal with disease. Who do you think should fund this research- private companies, individuals, or governments?

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.