Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that the diversity and differences in the technological devices today separate the two classes even more,
whereas
others believe that they close the gap between them. It is agreed that newer technologies which give a huge advantage over
the
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individuals, are not quite affordable
by
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those who are classified as poor. Analyzing the examples in real life will
further
prove
this
point. As
the
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technological devices develop, far more applications or platforms help folks to socialize more easily,
as well as
giving them the opportunity to experience anything on the internet. In that case, impoverished ones can get experiences that they normally may not. Closing a small part of the gap between these two classifications.
For instance
, a villager who lives in a village with no cinema or
theater
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now can watch the same movie as the one who watched it in the
theater
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via his/her phone.
On the other hand
, money attracts money.
In other words
, The modern system is built on increasing the space between the poor and rich, which was made possible by the strength of the wealthy technologies. The goal is basic; making impoverished individuals poorer and wealthy folks richer. As an example, manipulating the stocks by buying large amounts results in enhancing wealth and increasing the difference between them
further
. To summarize, Technological tools may give the poor the opportunity to enhance their vision and capability.
However
, it is not likely to close the difference considering the benefits that it provides for
the
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wealthy folks. In fact, an increase in the gap is expected.
Submitted by sonatakcaa on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical structure could be improved by providing smoother transitions between ideas. Use linking phrases like 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'therefore' to enhance coherence.
task achievement
While your main points are relevant to the task, some of them are not sufficiently developed. For example, the point about technological devices giving the poor new opportunities could be expanded with more detailed examples or explanations.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. For instance, you mentioned technological devices, but naming a few specific devices or platforms and their impact on different social classes would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents both views on the issue effectively, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the question prompt.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, which gives your essay a complete and cohesive structure.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples, like the villager watching movies on a phone, which makes your argument more relatable and concrete.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital divide
  • Socio-economic classes
  • Economic opportunities
  • Democratizes access
  • Technological gadgets
  • Advanced educational tools
  • Remote work
  • Online courses
  • Digital literacy
  • Digital inclusion
  • Underprivileged communities
  • Technological advancements
  • Cutting-edge technologies
  • Economic standing
  • Quality of life
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