Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people believe that the diversity and differences in the technological devices today separate the two classes even more,
whereas
others believe that they close the gap between them. It is agreed that newer technologies which give a huge advantage over the
individuals, are not quite affordable Correct article usage
apply
by
those who are classified as poor. Analyzing the examples in real life will Change preposition
to
further
prove this
point.
As the
technological devices develop, far more applications or platforms help folks to socialize more easily, Correct article usage
apply
as well as
giving them the opportunity to experience anything on the internet. In that case, impoverished ones can get experiences that they normally may not. Closing a small part of the gap between these two classifications. For instance
, a villager who lives in a village with no cinema or theater
now can watch the same movie as the one who watched it in the Change the spelling
theatre
theater
via his/her phone.
Change the spelling
theatre
On the other hand
, money attracts money. In other words
, The modern system is built on increasing the space between the poor and rich, which was made possible by the strength of the wealthy technologies. The goal is basic; making impoverished individuals poorer and wealthy folks richer. As an example, manipulating the stocks by buying large amounts results in enhancing wealth and increasing the difference between them further
.
To summarize, Technological tools may give the poor the opportunity to enhance their vision and capability. However
, it is not likely to close the difference considering the benefits that it provides for the
wealthy folks. In fact, an increase in the gap is expected.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by sonatakcaa on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical structure could be improved by providing smoother transitions between ideas. Use linking phrases like 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'therefore' to enhance coherence.
task achievement
While your main points are relevant to the task, some of them are not sufficiently developed. For example, the point about technological devices giving the poor new opportunities could be expanded with more detailed examples or explanations.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. For instance, you mentioned technological devices, but naming a few specific devices or platforms and their impact on different social classes would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents both views on the issue effectively, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the question prompt.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, which gives your essay a complete and cohesive structure.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples, like the villager watching movies on a phone, which makes your argument more relatable and concrete.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?