It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
contend that taking
risks
in their professional and individual ways could have a positive influence on variable aspects of our lives,
while
others believe that it could lead to unintentional detrimental consequences. In
this
essay, I will address two diametrically opposed views, and reason out a conclusion. From one point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, there are several advantages that are worth considering. First of all,
people
experience new things in certain unknown fields and learn updated knowledge from taking
risks
.
Thus
,
this
leads individuals to develop themselves and aids them
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
their upcoming problems flexibly.
In addition
to
this
, it promotes individuals to overcome fear.
Consequently
, it
encourges
Correct your spelling
encourages
them to be more confident when it comes to facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an unforeseen jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
unforeseen jobs
an unforeseen job
show examples
and putting into an act with
challenging
Correct article usage
a challenging
show examples
and
motivative
Replace the word
motivating
show examples
attitude. In spite of the merits mentioned above,
however
, there are several adverse repercussions. To start with, failing
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
challening
Correct your spelling
challenge
against
risks
results in
people
feeling embarrassed, worried and intimidated
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
their future.
This
means that
people
could lose their opportunities to get better and go up to a higher status.
As well as
this
, once they were not successful
to take
Change preposition
in taking
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advange
Correct your spelling
advantage
advance
from getting
risks
, it
excerbates
Correct your spelling
exacerbates
exacerbated
the situation, making their lives irreversible. In conclusion, it can be observed that there are two contradicting viewpoints, which are both, to a certain degree, convincing.
Although
challenging to practice risky things can offer some drawbacks, It seems to me that its advantages far outweigh the negative impacts, owing to the reasons
discribed
Correct your spelling
described
above.
Submitted by mirea0124 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the essay includes specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This helps illustrate points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of similar phrases such as 'challing against risks' and rephrase them for variety.
task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy and word choice. For example, correct usage of phrases like 'challenging and motivative attitude' to make the essay more natural.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument have been discussed in a balanced manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: