Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Many people are arguing that guardience
shuold
be taken Correct your spelling
should
responsible
and acceptable Change the word
responsibly
while
their kids has
shown a badly Change the verb form
have
bahavier
. Despite Correct your spelling
behaviour
of
that people say parents must Change preposition
apply
punished
children and Change the verb form
punish
took
responsibility Wrong verb form
take
of
their own. I strongly agree with the topic which said a child should be punished once they are badly in Change preposition
for
bahave
.
Correct your spelling
behave
Frist
of all, a background Correct your spelling
First
of
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
the houshold
houshold
is crucial for a teenager in Correct your spelling
household
this
day either
development of technology which Correct word choice
and either
are
Change the verb form
is
improval
by humans. Members of Correct your spelling
improved
houshold
Correct your spelling
households
is
significantly for them to Change the verb form
are
act-out
Correct your spelling
act out
on
Change preposition
in
public
. Add an article
the public
Further more
, friends and school society Correct your spelling
Furthermore
within
benefit Change preposition
apply
to
Change preposition
from
perfoming
Correct your spelling
performing
as well as
student
attending to the group. Fix the agreement mistake
students
For example
, cutulral
and community Correct your spelling
cultural
whereas
they living neither is important for those kind
to shown Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
themslves
performance.
Correct your spelling
themselves
Secondly
, accepting and taking respond are
must be the Verb problem
responses
guardienc
Correct your spelling
guardians
guardian
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
while
their child in
badly Correct your spelling
is
behavier
. To be punished is the lesson that biological parents should be accepted whilst their children must be Correct your spelling
behaviour
awareness
the result later. Replace the word
aware of
For instance
, once their kids has
been showing and performing badly in Change the verb form
have
the
public, they should be Correct article usage
apply
warning
and Wrong verb form
warned
asking
Wrong verb form
asked
for paying
attention to helping Change preposition
to pay
publication
community Correct article usage
the publication
cleaning
that Replace the word
clean
for
example. ;
In summary, in my Change preposition
apply
opinion
parents taking Add a comma
opinion,
resposibility
and getting punished is the right reason for taking and Correct your spelling
responsibility
showing
for their own child Verb problem
caring
as well as
they are. Perspectively household is significant for helping teenager to growth and being a kind person in nowsaday
.Correct your spelling
nowadays
Submitted by Chaiyapat Soka on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your arguments. Ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next, with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction needs to be clearer in presenting your main argument, and the conclusion should summarize your points more effectively. Make sure both are directly related to the question.
task achievement
Provide specific examples that clearly support your main points. This will help to make your arguments more convincing and relevant.
task achievement
Your willingness to take a stance on the topic is clear, which is a good starting point for any essay.
coherence cohesion
The idea of the background of the household being crucial for a child's behavior is a valid point and adds depth to your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.