Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, with
significant
development of up-to-date technologies, more and more Correct article usage
the significant
children
have been spending time on their smartphones
. Some people contend that this
could make
a positive influence on various aspects, Verb problem
have
while
others believe that this
could lead to detrimental consequences. In this
essay, I will address two diametrically opposed views and reason out the conclusion.
There are several advantages that are worth considering.
First of all, they can utilize their phones for versatile purposes. For instance
, there are a myriad of applications available. Hence
, they can download applications not only to learn other languages but also
to keep in touch with their friends and families.
In addition
to this
, it effectively prepares children
to engage with future technologies. In recent times, several schools have adopted to use smartphones
or smart gadgets (e.g. Change preposition
of smartphones
iPad
) in Correct your spelling
iPads
the
classes. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, if they get accustomed to these kinds of technologies, it will help them to adjust to school life.
In spite of the merits described above, however
, it could lead to adverse detrimental consequences.
To begin
with, spending too much time on their smartphones
can hinder the growth of their cognitive development and creativity skills. For example
, the more they spend time on
watching Change preposition
apply
youtube
videos, the more they become to rely on these media. Correct your spelling
YouTube
As a result
, it distracts children
from thinking by themselves and forces to
accept the information passively.
Correct pronoun usage
them to
As well as
this
, this
can make a problem regarding children
's social skills. Even though they can communicate with other people on smartphones
, it is totally different compared to communicating with people in real life in many ways. (e.g. gestures, tones, and attitudes) Thus
, they can undergo
difficulty Verb problem
have
to have
conversations with others, Change the verb form
having
furthermore
, they can feel isolated.
In conclusion, it can be observed that there are two viewpoints, which are both, to a certain degree, convincing. Although
this
can offer merits, it seems to me its risks far outweigh its benefits. Therefore
, I consider it as a negative development.Submitted by mirea0124 on
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task achievement
Work on providing more varied and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Sometimes the points made are good but would benefit from more detailed explanation.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. While the essay is fairly well-structured, some transitions felt abrupt.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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