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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the global popularity of five different sports from 1990 to 2020.

The line graph below shows the global popularity of five different sports from 1990 to 2020.
#line #popularity #five #sports
The line graph illustrates the average of trips in miles in six
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of sports which the age
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5 to 15
years
 old between
Change the article
the year
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1990 to 2020 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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State Of
Correct your spelling
States of
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 America.
Overall
,
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the data
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
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 which is from the beginning.
In addition
, bus and car were increasing meanwhile car was decreased.
However
, walking and
train were
Wrong verb form
training
show examples
 fluctuated
as well as
 walking
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased and
slighty
Correct your spelling
slightly
 increased since 2000.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 cycling was absolutely
tuouch
Correct your spelling
touch
 down in 2020. From the beginning,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the age of 5 to 15
years
 old
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
taking the bus
is
Wrong verb form
was
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increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to the top in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2020, taking
by
Correct your spelling
my
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 car
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in the
startting
Correct your spelling
starting
 time but was falling down since
a
Change the article
the
show examples
year
 of 2000 to 2020.
However
, people who are taking by
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
show examples
 was a huge fluctuated, it is been up and down in every 10
years
,
taxi
Add an article
the taxi
show examples
 has been up and down in 40
years
then
 increased again in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
year
 of 2010.
Furthermore
, cycling
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
was the same spot at the beginning
same
Correct word choice
apply
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as
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
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taken
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, but it was absolutely down and down
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every 10
years
service
Change preposition
of service
show examples
, walking
seem
Wrong verb form
seemed
show examples
 like taking down from the starting but
was rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 up from
a
Change the article
the
show examples
year
 of 2010
Submitted by Chaiyapat Soka on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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