Some people believe that if a police officer carries a gun it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is an undeniable fact that
policemen
are trying hard to bring the maximum level of safety for
the community. It is often argued that carrying Change preposition
to
guns
by police
officers would lead to a significant rise in violent actions
. However
, I firmly disagree with the given notion.
Apparently, all officers have guns
when on duties
and Fix the agreement mistake
duty
this
holds a wide range of constructive benefits. To begin
with, policemen
should have all protective devices like guns
,
since they always face dangerous people. Remove the comma
apply
In other words
, if the police
do not carry guns
, the criminals do not have anything to be afraid of, and this
definitely has a substantial contribution to raising the rate of crimes. As
Change preposition
For
an
instance, a Correct article usage
apply
police
guard arrived during a violent action in Tehran, all criminal
men were arrested, and nobody was hurt. Correct article usage
the criminal
This
happened because police
are equipped with guns
; therefore
, either, they get arrested or they get hurt by guns
if they resist. As a consequence
, police
and their guns
are the only reason that lawbreakers are being
afraid of, and if they do not have Verb problem
apply
guns
, the community should face dismal consequences.
Furthermore
, when violent actions
are taking place, police
protect themselves, and others with guns
and other equipment. They are completely educated about where and when they should use their guns
. Without a doubt, this
would be impossible to convince the gangs to stop their actions
without guns
. As an example, in Iran, a gang kidnapped many children from school to ask for money from their parents. The police
surrounded the area with a group of gunmen, and because of that, they gave up.
In conclusion, holding guns
by policemen
has reaped the
benefits only, and Correct article usage
apply
this
cannot be the reason to
rise the Change preposition
for
violent
Change preposition
of violent
actions
. If they do not have guns
, this
will be followed by catastrophic effects for citizens and policemen
.Submitted by luohongqianwen on
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task achievement
You have provided a comprehensive response to the prompt, and your ideas are clear and well-developed. However, you could improve by proofreading for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'this holds a wide range of constructive benefits.' Consider rephrasing to 'this carries a wide range of constructive benefits.'
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured with clear main points, working on more varied and complex sentence structures could enhance readability and coherence. Additionally, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For instance, you could use more transitional phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' at the start of the last paragraph.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is strong and clearly states your position. It effectively sets up the argument you will discuss in the essay.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported with specific examples, such as the incident in Tehran and the gang kidnapping in Iran, which add credibility to your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion is effective, summarizing the main points and reinforcing your argument. It emphatically presents the potential consequences, making your stance clear.