shows statistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.
The table illustrates the range of international visitors in 5 developed countries between the
year
2012 and 2013. In Fix the agreement mistake
years
this
table
there are two rows that present the number of Add a comma
table,
travelers
and the received income from their journey.
These 5 states had a moderate increase in the total statistic of tourists between the Change the spelling
travellers
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
of
2012 and 2013. Change preposition
apply
Although
China
had a gradual decrease in number of the tourists in 2013, the incomes from these travelers
had increased in all countries even in China
which is an unforeseen result. In addition
, it has been clearly shown that Spain
and China
had a similar scope of travelers
in the Change the spelling
travellers
year
2012 but in the following year
, China
had
faced a fall down and in the meantime, Unnecessary verb
apply
Spain
experienced a moderate increase
.
This
table shows that France
had the most sum of travelers
among these 5 states Change the spelling
travellers
on the other hand
, Italy had the lowest quantity however
, despite the fact that France
had the highest amount of sightseers in the
that period, Remove the article
apply
USA
which is in the second level, strangely had the most earnings from these sightseers. Correct article usage
the USA
This
fact might be a result of the USA has
more sightseeing all over the country compared to Wrong verb form
having
the
Correct article usage
apply
France
or other regions which is the result of possessing a wide land rather than others. It should also
be mentioned despite the fact that France
had more visitors than Spain
, the received money from tourists are
likely to Correct subject-verb agreement
is
equal
in the first Add a missing verb
be equal
year
but in the second period, Spain
had
received more earnings Unnecessary verb
apply
compare
to Change the form of the verb
compared
the
Correct article usage
apply
France
.
In conclusion, after comparing these 5 lands with each other, it's obvious that the figure of explorers in a period of time is not related to the received money from them. There are some factors that can have a direct effect on income such
as the policy of the tourist destination and the quantity of landmarks or sightseeing in that specific destination. states could increase the total number of visitors and the medium scope of ernings
from them by creating more interesting areas for explorers or maybe making the visa procedure easier.Correct your spelling
earnings
Submitted by maryamnikfekr on
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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repeated phrases or ideas to make the essay more concise. Additionally, be cautious of grammatical errors and avoid awkward phrasing, as this can hinder the reader's understanding.
task achievement
Ensure that you clearly and consistently refer to all relevant data. Use a variety of sentence structures to add interest, and illustrate points with specific data from the table.
coherence cohesion
The essay does well in making clear comparisons and highlighting trends.
task achievement
The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the number of visitors and the income from tourism.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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