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Band 6.5

Nowadays more and more people consume fast food on a regular basis. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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In the present day, the number of individuals consuming fast foods has gradually increased over the years. In my opinion,
this
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 trend might cause negative consequences in the long term.
This
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 essay will describe both aspects regarding the strengths and weaknesses with some examples.
Firstly
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, fast food is becoming more popular in large cities, especially the crowded areas. It is obvious that there are a few strengths of
this
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 routine. At
first,
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one of the main advantages is saving people's time to do something else because they could consume fast food as a meal just in 5-10
minutes
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instead
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 of 20-30
minutes
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 for fresh-cooked foods.
For example
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, my father sometimes buys a set of burgers in the morning before going to work because of spending
less hour
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fewer hours
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 for breakfast.
Secondly
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, another positive reason for having
this
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 kind of food is simple accessibility. To simplify
this
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 statement, there are many burger shops in the main cities,namely McDonald's, Burger King,and Subway, to accommodate people living in those crowded spaces. They might take 10
minutes
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 driving or 15
minutes
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 commuting by public transportation from their home to reach the shops.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 style may be encouraged by the emergence of many fast-food suppliers in
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 decade.
On the contrary
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, all the benefits mentioned above might be useful for a short period of living.
However
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, there is a plethora of weaknesses in the consumption. Undoubtedly, one of the obvious disadvantages is causing it to be unhealthy in the long phrase,
in particular
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 the elderly. A man who consumes a burger every morning for 3 years might gain more weight compared to another eating a salad bowl and eggs in the same period of life.
Moreover
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,
this
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 habit brings about many diseases in the future
such
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 as diabetes and high blood pressure. Personally, I think that health should be a first priority in individuals' lives.
To conclude
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, there is a negative weakness of
this
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 consumption in terms of unhealthy effects. Even though
this
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 trend has been shown some advantageous effects. Personally, I believe that the weaknesses still considerably outweigh the strengths when compared to the long period of
hour
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hours
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.

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task achievement
Consider adding more detailed examples and evidence to fully support your claims.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain consistent logical flow between paragraphs. Some transitions are abrupt.
language
Refine your grammar and vocabulary for better clarity and precision. There are minor errors which slightly affect readability.
task achievement
The essay appropriately presents both advantages and disadvantages of fast food consumption.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
Usage of personal anecdotes adds a personal touch and makes the arguments relatable.
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