the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018.

summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart demonstrates what the weekly salaries of families in an unknown country were spent
on
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apply
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in the years 1968 and 2018.
Overall
, most
of
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apply
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people
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people's
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expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
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went to eating in 1968 and leisure activities in 2018.
However
, the minimum of their
spendings
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spending
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were related to fuel and power in both years of the survey. In 1968, people tended to spend over one-third of their money when it came to food,
while
the money spent on housing and clothing
were
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was
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relatively lower and equally at 10
percent
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per cent
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of their income.
Moreover
, their third most popular way of spending was related to household and personal goods and transport which leaves around 5
percent
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per cent
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of their salary
that is
contributed to fuel and power.
On the other hand
, leisure purposes were the most expensive traits in 2018 which used up around 22
percent
of their income.
On the contrary
, by 2018, only around 15
percent
of people's money was spent on food which is even a lower proportion than housing at merely below 20
percent
.
While
transport contributes to around 15
percent
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per cent
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of
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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spending, household items and clothing materials stand at 7 and 5
percent
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per cent
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respectively. Similar to 1968, power is the
last
priority when spending which is accompanied by personal goods in 2018.
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure patterns
  • proportion
  • weekly income
  • accounted for
  • total expenditure
  • housing and utility expenses
  • transportation costs
  • other expenses
  • education
  • healthcare
  • leisure activities
  • spending patterns
  • witnessed a considerable rise
  • experienced a substantial increase
  • allocating a larger proportion
  • reducing their expenditure
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