IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart demonstrates what the weekly salaries of families in an unknown country were spent
on
Change preposition
apply
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in the years 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
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expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
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 went to eating in 1968 and leisure activities in 2018.
However
Linking Words
, the minimum of their
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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 were related to fuel and power in both years of the survey. In 1968, people tended to spend over one-third of their money when it came to food,
while
Linking Words
 the money spent on housing and clothing
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 relatively lower and equally at 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of their income.
Moreover
Linking Words
, their third most popular way of spending was related to household and personal goods and transport which leaves around 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of their salary
that is
Linking Words
 contributed to fuel and power.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, leisure purposes were the most expensive traits in 2018 which used up around 22
percent
Use synonyms
 of their income.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, by 2018, only around 15
percent
Use synonyms
 of people's money was spent on food which is even a lower proportion than housing at merely below 20
percent
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 transport contributes to around 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 spending, household items and clothing materials stand at 7 and 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 respectively. Similar to 1968, power is the
last
Linking Words
 priority when spending which is accompanied by personal goods in 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure patterns
  • proportion
  • weekly income
  • accounted for
  • total expenditure
  • housing and utility expenses
  • transportation costs
  • other expenses
  • education
  • healthcare
  • leisure activities
  • spending patterns
  • witnessed a considerable rise
  • experienced a substantial increase
  • allocating a larger proportion
  • reducing their expenditure
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