Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. agree = followers, lovers, copy disagree = skip, do not care
An argument has arisen between two views, on the one hand, the first view believes that influencers cause a significant impact on the
people
's reaction towards problems; on the other hand
, the second view objects to that. However
, in this
report, I will go through both sides of this
conflict, and then
allow me to conclude
my point of view.
To begin
with, famous people
are effective, helpful, respected, and influencing
; Replace the word
influential
as a consequence
, many people
follow their steps. For further
explanation, many posts on social media show that people
are affected by their favourite famous influencers, and they copy them as much as possible. Moreover
, studies capture that the percentage of paying attention to problems increases when famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
people
mention them. Additionally
, many people
admit that their awareness of various issues
raised
after seeing Add a missing verb
is raised
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
people
talking about them. Also
, many humans avoid sad news and they do not follow the news accounts; therefore
, it is essential to mention the huge issues
in a variety of accounts so that people
start searching about them.
Although
the points mentioned above are influencing, there are reverse points that hold equal influence. To illustrate that, a lot of studies capture that people
, frequently, skip the posts that talk about global issues
because they are not interested in such
news. In addition
, statistics illustrate that the gap between the views of the orginal
content and these posts is huge; Correct your spelling
original
In other words
, people
do not watch the
videos that mention international problems. Correct article usage
apply
Besides
that, it is not the influencers
main content, so watching them talking about Change noun form
influencer's
influencers'
issues
will not lead to any benefit because people
do not follow them for
this
reason.
In conclusion, although
famous people
's support towards international aid organizations is effective, useful, beneficial, and helpful, it is, indeed, useless and time-consuming. As a result
, I completely disagree with the statement mentioned above.Submitted by haneenalnetaif on
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task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and clearly explained. Sometimes the points presented lack sufficient elaboration or specific examples.
task achievement
Avoid repetitive phrases and ideas. Make sure that the arguments presented in each paragraph are distinct and contribute uniquely to supporting your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your paragraphs more seamlessly. Some transitions between ideas feel abrupt. Use cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each argument is distinctly explained and supported with clear examples. At times, the points are quite general and could benefit from more specific evidence or illustrations.
language
Be cautious with grammar and spelling. Small errors, such as 'famouse' instead of 'famous' and 'orginal' instead of 'original', can interrupt the flow of your writing and distract the reader.
structure
You have a clear structure in your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the argument effectively before concluding with your own viewpoint.
task achievement
You demonstrate an understanding of how to articulate a balanced discussion, which is a crucial skill in IELTS writing tasks.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example