IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The plans give information about changes in a student accommodation.

#plans #information #changes #student #accommodation
The provided diagrams illustrate the progressive transformation of a
student
 accommodation facility from 2010 to the present day. The analysis reveals a strategic repurposing of the outer grounds to optimize internal living quarters.
Moreover
, enhancements have been made to accessibility, including the addition of a parking area and the introduction of a secondary entrance. Commencing with the southern section, the former garden space has been ingeniously repurposed to accommodate a designated parking area. Adjacent to
this
, in the southeastern corner, a small enclave now houses a
student-bedroom
Correct your spelling
student bedroom
show examples
 with an en-suite facility,
while
 the communal kitchen has been expanded to foster social interaction within the northern wing. Transitioning to the northern sector, a notable transformation is observed in the living quarters, where a portion of the garden has been reallocated to create additional
student
 bedrooms.
Furthermore
, a new entrance has been erected in the northeastern corner, enhancing access to the
student
 living area. In conclusion, the diagrams succinctly capture the evolution of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
 accommodation, showcasing a thoughtful redesign aimed at optimizing living space and improving accessibility.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the overall structure and flow are quite good, consider adding more detailed descriptions to each section of the accommodation to enhance clarity and thoroughness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each significant change is explicitly linked to how it improves the living conditions for the students, thus providing stronger connections between points.
introduction conclusion present
Clear introduction and conclusion that frame the content well.
complete response
The essay successfully covers the main changes in the student accommodation over time.
clear comprehensive ideas
Good use of vocabulary and clear, concise language throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!