Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern world, with the help of technology,
people
can have Use synonyms
friends
from all over the world through many portable devices, Use synonyms
such
as smartphones and tablets. Linking Words
However
, it is said that those online friendships are less valuable than Linking Words
friends
that we meet in real Use synonyms
life
. From my perspective, I am a strong advocate of Use synonyms
this
idea, and some justifications for my standpoint will be elaborated on in Linking Words
this
essay.
Linking Words
To begin
with, there is a higher chance of losing property to Linking Words
people
who have many Use synonyms
friends
on the Internet. In fact, most Use synonyms
people
lack information about their online Use synonyms
friends
, making it difficult to know whether these Use synonyms
friends
have good or bad intentions. Use synonyms
Therefore
, many Linking Words
people
, especially children or elders, can easily be deceived into losing money or precious items. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
according to
a survey conducted in Vietnam in 2022, 200 Linking Words
people
, most of them younger than 15 years old or over 70 years old, had been reported as the victims of online fraud.
Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
life
Use synonyms
friends
are easier to trust than online Use synonyms
friends
. Use synonyms
People
tend to believe more in what they can observe in real Use synonyms
life
, and Use synonyms
people
’s Use synonyms
behavior
and reactions in Change the spelling
behaviour
Add an article
the face
a face
face to face
conversations reveal their genuine thoughts. Add a hyphen
face-to-face
In addition
, when individuals deeply understand their Linking Words
friends
’s characteristics and personalities, they can enjoy more supportive Use synonyms
relationships
that bolster mental health. Not only that, but Use synonyms
this
relationship will Linking Words
also
create lasting memories in your Linking Words
life
, which are hardly found in online Use synonyms
relationships
.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the statement that Use synonyms
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
life
Use synonyms
relationships
are much better than online Use synonyms
relationships
, and I believe that Use synonyms
people
should be aware of making Use synonyms
friends
with strangers on the Internet.Use synonyms
Submitted by khoianh2404 on
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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured and addresses the topic effectively. To enhance your task response, consider providing a counterargument to show a balanced view before reaffirming your stance.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clear, occasionally transition words or phrases could be added to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, using 'Furthermore,' or 'Consequently,' can help link your points more seamlessly.
task achievement
Add a few more specific examples or references to studies to make your points more robust and convincing. This will help deepen your arguments and show a thorough understanding of the topic.
structure
Your essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, demonstrating a coherent structure that guides the reader through your main points.
task achievement
You provide clear and comprehensive ideas to support your position, highlighting the risks of online friendships and the benefits of real-life connections with suitable examples.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example