IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

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The issue of environmental development has gained significant attention in recent years. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
government
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 should tackle the
pollution
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 and traffic problems by raising the price of
petrol
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although
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 others think there are other solutions that can be effective for many
people
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.
Firstly
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,
petrol
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 is hard to find because many countries use
petrol
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 for vehicles
such
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 as planes, trains, helicopters, cars, and motorcycles. One of the solutions is the
government
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 taking the highest prices to be considered citizens do not purchase
petrol
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.
For instance
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, In Indonesia "Pertalite" is unavailable for cars with the biggest tank of oil and expensive cars.
Instead
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, they should pay more for buying the
petrol
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.
For
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this
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 reason, many
people
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 minimize to usage of vehicles.
Therefore
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, raising the price of
petrol
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 can not be implemented without alternative ways to use a personal vehicle. To make sure to support citizens in vehicle consumption, the
government
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 should increase the number of public transportation.
As a result
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, many
people
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 prefer using public transportation
such
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 as trains, buses, and roads for bicycles. So, the proportion of
pollution
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 and traffic decreased.
In addition
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, the
government
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 can educate citizens about environmental awareness. To make sure
people
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 care about the
pollution
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 and affected ozone from vehicle gas.
For example
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, the
government
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 can organise programs like posters, campaigns, pamphlets, and other resources in school and community programs.
Thus
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, environmental awareness more be increased. In conclusion, to minimize traffic and reduce
pollution
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, the
government
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 can increase the price of
petrol
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.
Although
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 there are other solutions that can pursue environmental awareness.

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Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay presents a clear argument, ensure that each point you make is fully developed and logically linked to your main idea. For example, explaining the impacts of reducing petrol usage through price increases could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Some sentences are not entirely clear or are awkwardly phrased. Try to refine your sentence structure for better clarity. For instance, consider reviewing the sentence structure in your second paragraph for smoother readability.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples or data to back up your claims. Adding statistics or specific case studies could help solidify the points made. For example, you could include data on how certain countries have effectively handled pollution and traffic congestion.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide a sense of closure and completeness to the reader.
Supported Main Points
The idea of incorporating public transportation and environmental awareness campaigns are excellent alternative solutions, which add depth and variety to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
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