IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below show the number of hours spent on social media per day from 2010to 2016 as well as the reasons why they used them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting.

The graph below show the number of hours spent on social media per day from 2010to 2016 as well as the reasons why they used them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting.
#show #hours #media #summarise #information
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The chart gives information about the total of hours that people spend on social media every day
in
Change preposition
apply
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during
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the period between 2010 to 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph illustrated three different
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 small
business
Use synonyms
, medium
business
Use synonyms
 and the
last
Linking Words
 one large
business
Use synonyms
when
Correct word choice
which
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 happened
that
Correct word choice
apply
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in the years 2010 and 2016. Now, turning to the details, in 2016 the
rate's
Change preposition
rate of
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 small
business
Use synonyms
 was the higher trend
to reached
Verb problem
reaching
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 approximately 50 per cent
while
Linking Words
 in 2012 was the lower number
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was
Verb problem
reaching
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nuder
Correct word choice
apply
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30 %. In 2016 The
figures's
Change preposition
figures for
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 medium
business
Use synonyms
 increased slightly to reach above 50
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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whereas
Linking Words
, the rate in the year 2015 and in the year 2012
are reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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to
Change preposition
apply
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30
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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 respectively.
However
Linking Words
 in
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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large
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 between 2012 and 2013 they made up
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 level
Add the comma(s)
, in addition,
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in addition
Linking Words
 the highest number
Change preposition
apply
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of
Change preposition
apply
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spent on social media was in 2016
Verb problem
reaching
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to reach
Change the verb form
reaching
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 nearly
Change preposition
apply
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to
Change preposition
apply
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80 proportion.
Submitted by sialamer on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words business with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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