Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Youngsters usually
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
their decisions based on the influence of their friend circles which causes drastic issues for them. I agree with
this
viewpoint completely and
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
of peer pressure are big enough to cause disturbance in their lives. In
this
essay, the reasons why
this
type of behaviour is
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
will be examined
further
. Teenagers choose careers because their friends have opted
that
Change preposition
for that
show examples
field. They start believing that if their friend has
interest
Add an article
an interest
show examples
in that field
then
they could definitely succeed. They never consider their own hobbies and do not take aptitude tests to check whether their choice aligns with their goals.
Consequently
, they get trapped with the wrong decision which could be avoided.
For instance
, many students in India take competitive examinations just to accompany their schoolmates
further
in their college
life
. When they follow that guidance
then
they usually fail to fulfil that desire or end up in a wrong profession from where it is difficult to change path. Ergo, it is better to rely on aptitude tests rather than peers for opting career.
Moreover
, there is
even
Add an article
the even
an even
show examples
darker side of peer pressure. If any kid joins bad company
then
his whole
life
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
ruined. To exemplify, drug addiction begins
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
spoiled friends who already are under influence of the drugs and force their classmates to indulge in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
. They happen to have
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
conscientiouness
Correct your spelling
conscientiousness
conscientious
at
this
stage of
life
and cannot analyze situations
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
a long-term perspective.
Thus
, parents and teachers tend to separate students or friends in the classroom to avoid
such
things
to happen
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
.
To conclude
, friendship should never be a guiding principle to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
decisions in
life
such
as
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
. Neither anyone should join a group
that is
known to have bad behaviour and addictions. Eventually, taking any part with them ruins
life
and career so peer influence should
strictly
Add a missing verb
be strictly
show examples
avoided.
Submitted by Kiran on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay could improve by broadening the vocabulary and using a wider range of sentence structures to increase readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical and typographical errors to ensure that the essay reads more smoothly. For example, 'habits' is misspelled as 'habbits' and 'conscientiousness' is misspelled as 'conscientiouness'.
task achievement
Provide more balanced examples and consider possible advantages of peer pressure, even if you ultimately conclude that the disadvantages outweigh them.
task achievement
Strengthen the introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement that previews the main points of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The writer addresses the task effectively, focusing on both career decisions and the darker side of peer pressure.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, such as the mention of competitive examinations in India and the influence of spoiled friends leading to drug addiction.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • influence
  • behaviours
  • age group
  • positive behaviour
  • negative influence
  • substance abuse
  • reckless behaviour
  • detrimental effects
  • health and future prospects
  • social skills
  • sense of belonging
  • emotional and psychological development
  • erode
  • self-esteem
  • personal values
  • decision-making abilities
  • introduce new perspectives
  • open-mindedness
  • conform
  • individuality
  • creativity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: