Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Youngsters usually
take
their decisions based on the influence of their friend circles which causes drastic issues for them. I agree with Correct your spelling
make
this
viewpoint completely and drawbacks
of peer pressure are big enough to cause disturbance in their lives. In Correct article usage
the drawbacks
this
essay, the reasons why this
type of behaviour is effecting
will be examined Correct your spelling
affecting
further
.
Teenagers choose careers because their friends have opted that
field. They start believing that if their friend has Change preposition
for that
interest
in that field Add an article
an interest
then
they could definitely succeed. They never consider their own hobbies and do not take aptitude tests to check whether their choice aligns with their goals. Consequently
, they get trapped with the wrong decision which could be avoided. For instance
, many students in India take competitive examinations just to accompany their schoolmates further
in their college life
. When they follow that guidance then
they usually fail to fulfil that desire or end up in a wrong profession from where it is difficult to change path. Ergo, it is better to rely on aptitude tests rather than peers for opting career.
Moreover
, there is even
darker side of peer pressure. If any kid joins bad company Add an article
the even
an even
then
his whole life
get
ruined. To exemplify, drug addiction begins Change the verb form
gets
from
spoiled friends who already are under influence of the drugs and force their classmates to indulge in Change preposition
with
same
Correct article usage
the same
habbits
. They happen to have Correct your spelling
habits
least
Correct article usage
the least
conscientiouness
at Correct your spelling
conscientiousness
conscientious
this
stage of life
and cannot analyze situations in
a long-term perspective. Change preposition
from
Thus
, parents and teachers tend to separate students or friends in the classroom to avoid such
things to happen
.
Change preposition
from happening
To conclude
, friendship should never be a guiding principle to make
decisions in Wrong verb form
making
life
such
as career
. Neither anyone should join a group Correct article usage
a career
that is
known to have bad behaviour and addictions. Eventually, taking any part with them ruins life
and career so peer influence should strictly
avoided.Add a missing verb
be strictly
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coherence cohesion
The essay could improve by broadening the vocabulary and using a wider range of sentence structures to increase readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical and typographical errors to ensure that the essay reads more smoothly. For example, 'habits' is misspelled as 'habbits' and 'conscientiousness' is misspelled as 'conscientiouness'.
task achievement
Provide more balanced examples and consider possible advantages of peer pressure, even if you ultimately conclude that the disadvantages outweigh them.
task achievement
Strengthen the introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement that previews the main points of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The writer addresses the task effectively, focusing on both career decisions and the darker side of peer pressure.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, such as the mention of competitive examinations in India and the influence of spoiled friends leading to drug addiction.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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