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Band 1.5

Some people think eating meat is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #meat #health
According to
 many individuals in the world, eating
meat
 is not recommended and they believe that it’s not healthy. In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will state my personal position with proper examples.
Firstly
people
 should not use to eat not fully fired
meat
 in their daily diet, because it is not healthy. Eating
this
 kind of
meat
 may cause serious problems with
stomach
Correct article usage
the stomach
show examples
due to
 the presence of parasites in the composition. US statistics show that two thousand
people
poisoned
Add a missing verb
were poisoned
show examples
 because of
this
not fired
Verb problem
not-fired
show examples
meat
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 year.
On the other hand
, humans need to consume
meat
 in their consumption, since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meat
 has many
multi vitamins
Correct your spelling
multivitamins
show examples
such
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 calcium iron and phosphorus.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 many
people
 in Australia felt themselves not only powerful but
also
 healthier. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
people
 who prefer a healthy lifestyle should include
meat containing
Add a hyphen
meat-containing
show examples
 vitamins in their daily diet
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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example
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your points. Specific examples strengthen your argument and show your understanding of the topic.
coherence
Work on improving the coherence of your essay by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will make your essay easier to follow.
conclusion
Improve your conclusion by summarizing the main points you have discussed in the body paragraphs, linking them back to your thesis.
balance
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach and critical thinking.
structure
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to structure your essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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