Many people believe that fitness and strong ones and the team can acheive fitness in sports, some others say that mental ability is much important to win sports. discuss both views and share your opinion

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In the era of globalisation and modern technologies, many individuals have
thoughts
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thought
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that people who are in
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sport
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sports
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or go to
gym
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the gym
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may achieve
a
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apply
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good
result
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results
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in
sports
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.
However
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other
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others
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ones
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apply
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have an opinion that mental
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ability
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ability is
ability was
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more important to
win
Wrong verb form
winning
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sports
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competitions. In
me
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my
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personal view, for success in
sports
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person
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a person
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should have training their brain and muscles together. The aim of
this
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essay is
discussing
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to discuss
show examples
both views and give
som
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some
show examples
relevant examples. On
one
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the one
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hand,
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sport
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sports
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get on
superior
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a superior
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level person's body health, but brain training makes better mental
ability
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.
In other words
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, for
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a successeful
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successeful
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successful
degree in
sports
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sportsman
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sportsmen
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train all these abilities.
For example
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, if a footballer were trained only
a
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with a
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brain, he would not run on
field
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the field
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in
match
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the match
a match
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, because his muscles
wil
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would
be weak.
Also
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if he
do
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does
show examples
an exercises
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exercises
an exercise
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for
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to
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get
strong
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a strong
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body, a
sportman
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sportsman
would not understand the strategy of the football match. It is like when the goalkeeper
have
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has
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low
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a low
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level of mental
ability
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, he may not keep the goals well.
On the other hand
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, the body or mental abilities training
are depends
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depends
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on the type of
sport
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. Because sometimes there
are
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is
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variety
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a variety
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of
sport
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that
don't
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doesn't
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need a physical training.
For instance
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, for chess is more important to put more effort
on
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into
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mental training, the reason is that
this
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type of
sport
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needs more intellectual
ability
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.
To sum up
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the all aforementioned points, strong ones and the team can achieve
good
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a good
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level in
sports
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,
however
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training mental
ability
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it
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apply
show examples
is
also
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important.
Submitted by lola.kz.kg on

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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures to reduce errors and improve clarity.
Task Response
Develop your ideas more fully to provide a more comprehensive and detailed response. This can include providing additional examples or further elaborating on your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to enhance the logical flow of your essay. This can make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
Task Response
Good attempt at addressing both views and providing a balanced perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps structure the response.
Task Response
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • agility
  • synergy
  • cohesive
  • collaboration
  • mental toughness
  • strategic thinking
  • resilience
  • psychological resilience
  • high-pressure situations
  • physical prowess
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