Many people believe that fitness and strong ones and the team can acheive fitness in sports, some others say that mental ability is much important to win sports. discuss both views and share your opinion

In the era of globalisation and modern technologies, many individuals have
thoughts
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
that people who are in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
or go to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
may achieve
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
in
sports
.
However
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have an opinion that mental
ability
Add a verb
ability is
ability was
show examples
more important to
win
Wrong verb form
winning
show examples
sports
competitions. In
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
personal view, for success in
sports
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
should have training their brain and muscles together. The aim of
this
essay is
discussing
Change the verb form
to discuss
show examples
both views and give
som
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
relevant examples. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand,
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
get on
superior
Correct article usage
a superior
show examples
level person's body health, but brain training makes better mental
ability
.
In other words
, for
Correct article usage
a successeful
show examples
successeful
Correct your spelling
successful
degree in
sports
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
show examples
train all these abilities.
For example
, if a footballer were trained only
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
brain, he would not run on
field
Add an article
the field
show examples
in
match
Add an article
the match
a match
show examples
, because his muscles
wil
Correct your spelling
would
be weak.
Also
if he
do
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does
show examples
an exercises
Correct the article-noun agreement
exercises
an exercise
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
get
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
body, a
sportman
Correct your spelling
sportsman
would not understand the strategy of the football match. It is like when the goalkeeper
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
level of mental
ability
, he may not keep the goals well.
On the other hand
, the body or mental abilities training
are depends
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on the type of
sport
. Because sometimes there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of
sport
that
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
need a physical training.
For instance
, for chess is more important to put more effort
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
mental training, the reason is that
this
type of
sport
needs more intellectual
ability
.
To sum up
the all aforementioned points, strong ones and the team can achieve
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
level in
sports
,
however
training mental
ability
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
also
important.
Submitted by lola.kz.kg on

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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures to reduce errors and improve clarity.
Task Response
Develop your ideas more fully to provide a more comprehensive and detailed response. This can include providing additional examples or further elaborating on your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to enhance the logical flow of your essay. This can make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
Task Response
Good attempt at addressing both views and providing a balanced perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps structure the response.
Task Response
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • agility
  • synergy
  • cohesive
  • collaboration
  • mental toughness
  • strategic thinking
  • resilience
  • psychological resilience
  • high-pressure situations
  • physical prowess
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