IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that fitness and strong ones and the team can acheive fitness in sports, some others say that mental ability is much important to win sports. discuss both views and share your opinion

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In the era of globalisation and modern technologies, many individuals have
thoughts
Correct your spelling
thought
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 that people who are in
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 or go to
gym
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the gym
show examples
 may achieve
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in
sports
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have an opinion that mental
Use synonyms
ability
Add a verb
ability is
ability was
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 more important to
win
Wrong verb form
winning
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sports
Use synonyms
 competitions. In
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
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 personal view, for success in
sports
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 should have training their brain and muscles together. The aim of
this
Linking Words
 essay is
discussing
Change the verb form
to discuss
show examples
 both views and give
som
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 relevant examples. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 get on
superior
Correct article usage
a superior
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 level person's body health, but brain training makes better mental
ability
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, for
Correct article usage
a successeful
show examples
successeful
Correct your spelling
successful
 degree in
sports
Use synonyms
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
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 train all these abilities.
For example
Linking Words
, if a footballer were trained only
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
brain, he would not run on
field
Add an article
the field
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 in
match
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the match
a match
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, because his muscles
wil
Correct your spelling
would
 be weak.
Also
Linking Words
 if he
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
an exercises
Correct the article-noun agreement
exercises
an exercise
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 get
strong
Add an article
a strong
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 body, a
sportman
Correct your spelling
sportsman
 would not understand the strategy of the football match. It is like when the goalkeeper
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
 level of mental
ability
Use synonyms
, he may not keep the goals well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the body or mental abilities training
are depends
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on the type of
sport
Use synonyms
. Because sometimes there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of
sport
Use synonyms
 that
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
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 need a physical training.
For instance
Linking Words
, for chess is more important to put more effort
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 mental training, the reason is that
this
Linking Words
 type of
sport
Use synonyms
 needs more intellectual
ability
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
 the all aforementioned points, strong ones and the team can achieve
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 level in
sports
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
 training mental
ability
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
also
Linking Words
 important.

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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures to reduce errors and improve clarity.
Task Response
Develop your ideas more fully to provide a more comprehensive and detailed response. This can include providing additional examples or further elaborating on your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to enhance the logical flow of your essay. This can make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
Task Response
Good attempt at addressing both views and providing a balanced perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps structure the response.
Task Response
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • agility
  • synergy
  • cohesive
  • collaboration
  • mental toughness
  • strategic thinking
  • resilience
  • psychological resilience
  • high-pressure situations
  • physical prowess
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