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Band 5.5

The diagram details the process of making smoked fish.

#process #fish
The flow chart shows the way in which smoked
fish
 is made.
Overall
, there are 3 main stages and 11 steps in the whole smoked
fish
-producing process,
beginnig
Correct your spelling
beginning
 with the catching up of
fish
 and ending with the delivery of the smoked
fish
 to the
fish
 shop to sell. The first
stage
 is harvesting the product.
Initially
, the
fish
 are caught using special equipment
such
 as fishing nets, and
then
 the catch is delivered to ports by boat and unloaded there for
further
 processing. In the second
stage
, the
fish
 is delivered to the production sites, where it is frozen and thawed.
Following
this
, the products are placed in containers with fresh water to prepare them for being cut open.
Next,
the
fish
 are cleaned of unnecessary parts and kept in salt water until they become yellow.
This
stage
 concludes with the
fish
 being smoked and packed in special boxes. The final
stage
 involves transportation, distribution, and commerce. The boxes of smoked
fish
 are stored at a temperature of 0 degrees Celsius in special cold stores.
Then
, the product is transported on trucks and distributed to
fish
 shops for sale.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Make sure to carefully proofread your essay to catch minor spelling and typing errors, such as 'beginnig.'
task achievement
Consider providing slightly more detail or specific instances in the latter part of the process to balance the depth of the initial stages.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow the step-by-step process described in the diagram.
coherence cohesion
You effectively used linking words and phrases, which contributes to the overall coherence and flow of the essay.
task achievement
The main stages and steps of the smoked fish production process are well explained, showing a comprehensive understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion nicely frame the main content of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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