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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#shops #country #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph demonstrates how many
shops
Use synonyms
 have closed and opened their business in an unknown country between the years of 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed in
this
Linking Words
 7-year timespan has fallen drastically.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, in the case of the openings, the
numbers
Use synonyms
 stayed moderately the same despite all the fluctuations experienced throughout the survey period. In 2011, around 8500
shops
Use synonyms
 had concluded their businesses which remains the highest record of closure in
this
Linking Words
 7-year period which was followed by a dramatic fall into 4000
shops
Use synonyms
 after only one year. Afterwards, the
numbers
Use synonyms
 soared to over 6000 in 2014 which fell right back to 4000 by 2015. These closure schemes levelled out temporarily from 2015 to a year after which was immediately followed by a slight
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in
numbers
Use synonyms
. These closures reached the bottom in 2018 with only 3000 being closed.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, with the starting point of 6500, opening
numbers
Use synonyms
 had minor fluctuations from 2011 to 2014 which
then
Linking Words
 experienced a major downfall from 6500 to just a little above zero from 2014 to 2015.
However
Linking Words
, openings started to increase by approximately 4500 in number by 2016, leaving it at 5000 opened
shops
Use synonyms
. Right
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 increase,
numbers
Use synonyms
 slightly plateaued from 2016 until the end of the survey.
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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