IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that is not the government's responsibility

#people #governments #health #care #education #government #responsibility
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Health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 ought to be paid
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 believe some
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 and some of them think it is not their undertaking.
Although
Linking Words
,
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 are important for people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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but
Correct word choice
apply
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not only
this
Linking Words
 can develop the
country
Use synonyms
.
Government
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 must pay attention to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and
education
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they are the main thing to have a good life. Some people can't pay
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and
health
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as in Africa most population are poor, that's why there are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
few healthy and educated people.
This
Linking Words
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
 that the
country
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 will not develop and will be a daggy
nation
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should pay
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and
education
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 to increase the
country
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
health
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care
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 and
education
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 are crucial for
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
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developing
Replace the word
development
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, only
this
Linking Words
 can't incubate the
nation
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. They ought to
be pay
Change the verb form
pay
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 attention to
economy
Add an article
the economy
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, innovation and ecology too, because they help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
country
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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new technologies, pure the environment and export things to other countries and
this
Linking Words
 helps to increase the
nation
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in the US which
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 attention to these all things in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balance, nowadays
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 is a very developing
country
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 ought to be
notice
Correct word choice
aware
show examples
also
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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, innovation and ecology for growing the
nation
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. In conclusion, the
government
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 should pay for both
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
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 balanced, because they both play a main role in developing the
country
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. If the
government
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will notice
Wrong verb form
notices
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
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care
Use synonyms
 and
education
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, it will contribute the
country
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 to
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 a slack
nation
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on your arguments with more depth and clearer examples. Providing specific instances and data can strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and reduce grammatical errors to enhance clarity. Focusing on consistency in tense and article usage will make your essay more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and transition smoothly between points. This will help maintain a logical flow and keep readers engaged.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and have made an effort to address both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which provides a structured framework for your points.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide solutions and examples, which adds value to your arguments.
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