Some people believe that parents should teach children how to be good members of society while others say it should be taught by school . Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Majority of people think that children should learn how to be good members of society from their
parents
otherwise
the other believe place of learning it is at
school
. If we take about the family role and that time ,we say :children should be communication with
parents
during so many times,play with learning games together
then
the most important and first steps ,learn some communication skills with
parents
together every day.They want to repeat with mother (dad) words and some things. In my opinion ,
school
is so important part ,how did they learn so many rules? And I think we mustn’t say family is important but
school
isn’t necessary. In order to the children was spending so long time with friends and other
teacher
together in the
school
. We must take into consideration
teacher
should be mum(dad) in the future. They
teacher
must study just teaching skills and some exercise and already they must learn us how do you behaviour your
teacher
,friends ,family or environment?
Such
as
that is
main reason they have been learning a lot of life’s rules about living and non-living world i
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
not only
parents
but
also
teacher
should be teach us how do we correct people in the world
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points. This helps to make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your arguments clearer and more logically structured. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
You have attempted to discuss both views and have also provided your own opinion, which is good.
task achievement
You show an understanding of the importance of both parents and schools in a child's development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: