IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Most country are compared by their economic success. Do you think there are some other important factors that need to be taken into consideration? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

#country #success #factors #consideration
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There are many factors that influence the
success
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 of a
country
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.
While
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 some people may say that there are other factors to be considered, I side with those who think that economic
success
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 is the crucial one in regard to comparing
countries
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. On the one side, it is true that a
country
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's economic
status
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 is not a single factor. There are many elements behind a
country
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's economic
success
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,
such
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 as the
technology
Replace the word
technological
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 advancement, the total population, and the human resources that a
country
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 has. To illustrate
this
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 let us talk about Singapore.
This
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country
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 only has a small
number
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 of people living there since the small size of that
country
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 if we compared to Indonesia which consists of many islands. From
this
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 situation itself, we can understand
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
easily why Singapore is more successful than Indonesia in terms of its economic
status
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. On the other side, the economic
status
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 of a
country
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 is indeed the best measurement if we want to compare the
country
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 to others. The economic circumstance of a
country
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 is a key reason behind their society's welfare.
Moreover
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, an economic
status
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 has an exact
number
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 which
thus
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 makes it an important consideration if we want to compare
countries
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.
For instance
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, in economic terms, we know that every
country
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 has a gross domestic bruto or GDP
number
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 which can be a tool to rank
countries
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 in the world. Those that have a large GDP are the top
countries
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 since that
number
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 indicates the
success
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 of a
country
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. In conclusion, I believe that the economic
success
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 of a
country
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 is a crucial thing to compare
countries
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'
success
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. The exact economic
number
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 like GDP can be used to list the top
countries
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 that exist.
However
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, I believe that it is not a single factor since we have
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other factors to be considered.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

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task achievement
While your essay provides a clear response to the task, try to elaborate more on why economic success is significant and explore other factors in more depth.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Linking words like 'however,' 'furthermore,' and 'likewise' can help your essay to read more fluidly.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points of the essay more explicitly and reinforcing your stance.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear stance on economic success being a crucial factor for comparing countries.
task achievement
Relevant examples like Singapore and Indonesia helped to illustrate your arguments effectively.
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