IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Most country are compared by their economic success. Do you think there are some other important factors that need to be taken into consideration? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are many factors that influence the
success
Use synonyms
 of a
country
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some people may say that there are other factors to be considered, I side with those who think that economic
success
Use synonyms
 is the crucial one in regard to comparing
countries
Use synonyms
. On the one side, it is true that a
country
Use synonyms
's economic
status
Use synonyms
 is not a single factor. There are many elements behind a
country
Use synonyms
's economic
success
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as the
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 advancement, the total population, and the human resources that a
country
Use synonyms
 has. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
 let us talk about Singapore.
This
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 only has a small
number
Use synonyms
 of people living there since the small size of that
country
Use synonyms
 if we compared to Indonesia which consists of many islands. From
this
Linking Words
 situation itself, we can understand
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
easily why Singapore is more successful than Indonesia in terms of its economic
status
Use synonyms
. On the other side, the economic
status
Use synonyms
 of a
country
Use synonyms
 is indeed the best measurement if we want to compare the
country
Use synonyms
 to others. The economic circumstance of a
country
Use synonyms
 is a key reason behind their society's welfare.
Moreover
Linking Words
, an economic
status
Use synonyms
 has an exact
number
Use synonyms
 which
thus
Linking Words
 makes it an important consideration if we want to compare
countries
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in economic terms, we know that every
country
Use synonyms
 has a gross domestic bruto or GDP
number
Use synonyms
 which can be a tool to rank
countries
Use synonyms
 in the world. Those that have a large GDP are the top
countries
Use synonyms
 since that
number
Use synonyms
 indicates the
success
Use synonyms
 of a
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe that the economic
success
Use synonyms
 of a
country
Use synonyms
 is a crucial thing to compare
countries
Use synonyms
'
success
Use synonyms
. The exact economic
number
Use synonyms
 like GDP can be used to list the top
countries
Use synonyms
 that exist.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that it is not a single factor since we have
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other factors to be considered.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay provides a clear response to the task, try to elaborate more on why economic success is significant and explore other factors in more depth.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Linking words like 'however,' 'furthermore,' and 'likewise' can help your essay to read more fluidly.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points of the essay more explicitly and reinforcing your stance.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear stance on economic success being a crucial factor for comparing countries.
task achievement
Relevant examples like Singapore and Indonesia helped to illustrate your arguments effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: