Everyone should stay in school until the age og eighteen. Evaluate the arguments both and against this before reaching an opinion.
There is a
conversional
debate that children under 18 need to live in educational Correct your spelling
conversational
institution
for studying purposes. It is believed that there will be a confinement in Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
Correct article usage
the curiousity
curiousity
of juveniles, Correct your spelling
curiosity
while
improving cognitive skills is invitably
integral in future Correct your spelling
inevitably
inevitable
job
. From the writer's perspective , individuals would become citizens without emotional feelings.
As in adolescent periods, if youngsters do not have freedom outside school, Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
curiousity
about the world would decrease. Correct your spelling
curiosity
This
is because, the limited space of school does not satisfy distant journeys as well as
natural discoveries, which confines the knowledge about surrounding regions. As a result
, there is no memorable trip with peers or relatives anymore since the curious students wuold
not Correct your spelling
would
be emerged
for the above reason.
Despite Change to the active voice
emerge
have emerged
this
disadvantage, the intensive courses will definitely enhance both Correct article usage
the creativty
creativty
and innovatives of pupils. Correct your spelling
creativity
In other words
, due to
staying in competitive
environment, the individuals Add an article
a competitive
the competitive
wuold
be fostered from productivity to even knowledge capacity, which Correct your spelling
would
are
effective for future Change the verb form
is
occupation
.
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
Moreover
, those who could concentrate on studying without being distracted by other aspects of social issues compring
of economics, education, etc. Correct your spelling
comprising
comparing
Consequently
, getting high scores will not a
core problem contributing to well-paid income after graduating, and Add a missing verb
be a
this
assists students with promotion in classes and employments
as well.
Notwithstanding, Fix the agreement mistake
employment
this
writer asserts that these institutions will train the children becoming
robots without much time for family. To explain Change the verb form
to become
further
, because of the intensively
educational system, those who will be workaholics Change the word
intensive
occupied
with Add a missing verb
are occupied
offical
work Correct your spelling
official
for earning
money rather than spending time with relatives. Change preposition
to earn
Hence
, those childhood
are not intriguing and meaningful causing an entire life of attaching Change the determiner
childhoods
with
Change preposition
to
documantary
tasks.
Correct your spelling
documentary
To conclude
, life in school is likely to bring juveniles negative impacts such
as the downward curiousity
about local location Correct your spelling
curiosity
while
the most benefitial
effect is advanced cognition. Correct your spelling
beneficial
Thus
, the massive drawback is becoming a workaholic with not spending time on
family.Change preposition
with
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is excellent. However, ensure you provide more relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical and has a coherent flow. However, consider using more linking words to improve the fluidity between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more defined and stronger. Aim to summarize your arguments clearly in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on avoiding repetitive statements and aim for more varied sentence structures to better express your ideas.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and have managed to cover both arguments for and against the statement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a coherent flow of ideas that connects different points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.