In some contries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
People from some nations prefer to buy homes and live there
instead
of paying rent. In this
essay, I will outline various potential reasons for this
, as well as
explain why it is advantageous.
İnhabitants’ living space selections cannot be separated from cultural attributes and social structures. Being liable is an undesirable condition, consequently
people are encouraged to have their own homes by refusing to pay rent price to landlords every month. Add a comma
consequently,
Secondly
, causes of increasing demand for owning a home
arise from economic
expectations of society. People, mostly Correct article usage
the economic
who
do not have enough knowledge to evaluate the aggregate economy, have a strong faith in the continuous upward trend of real estate values. Correct pronoun usage
those who
In addition
, in case of an extreme increase in a property’s value, the landlord tends to sell the house and moving
to another, by strengthening the personal economic prosperity. Wrong verb form
move
Therefore
, the intent of buying a home
and living in it surpasses renting a home
which enriches others and gives the renter nothing, apart from monthly bills.
To explaining
its’ positive impacts, possessing a Wrong verb form
explain
home
is more favorable
than renting in terms of the lack of dealing with troublesome landlords. Change the spelling
favourable
For example
, the property owner sometimes suddenly comes and wants to visit the home
without letting know
before. Unfortunately, there are not any regulations that protect the occupant from Correct pronoun usage
us know
such
behaviors
, even though they are rude and annoying. Reversely, if the denizen of the Change the spelling
behaviours
home
owns the place where he/she lives in
, Change preposition
apply
such
unpleasant situations are not experienced, additionally
it is possible to be more flexible and take action quickly. To illustrate, the renter must ask for the permission of the owner to change something with new
one, like furniture which is old and broken. Correct article usage
a new
However
, individuals who live in their house
have the ability to make decisions and act, Fix the agreement mistake
houses
while
renters do not have
.
In conclusion, the reasons that owning a Unnecessary verb
apply
home
is preferable to renting in some cultures stem from not only cultural and social attributes but also
economic concerns. Furthermore
, it is enormously beneficial in terms of avoiding bothersome relationship
with the landlord and being independent and faster.Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
Submitted by smd1212 on
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task response
While the essay effectively discusses various reasons for the preference of owning homes and why it might be advantageous, it can benefit from more detailed examples and clearer links between points to strengthen its arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are complex and might confuse the reader. Simplifying sentence structure and ensuring a smoother transition between points will improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay successfully presents an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which provides a clear structure to follow.
task response
The author covers multiple perspectives, touching on both cultural and economic reasons for preferring home ownership, demonstrating a comprehensive approach to the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example