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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labor

#advances #technology #automation #labor
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Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
.
Therefore
, working hours should be reduced. I partially agree with
this
 statement, and in the following essay, I will shed light on
this
 argument. On the one hand, it is important to mention the fact that AI could never replace humanity. No matter how much
people
 tend to argue that it will one day substitute humankind, it is significant to remember that humanitarian subjects exist and that the difference between
people
 and artificial intelligence has greatly widened. So, whether the question is based on working hours, the simple answer would be "yes," as, as a matter of fact, since AI and robots don’t require human
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 to
work
, there is no need to have a 9-to-6 job, and it shouldn’t be a problem for some to not come
work
.
On the other hand
, it is
also
 very crucial to remember that when there are fewer working hours,
people
 can get laid off and even fired permanently.
Thus
, creating
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worry among the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 class or lower class as to
having
Change the form of the verb
have
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 a job that requires physical
work
 that could be replaced by machines in less than a blink of an eye could be scary.
People
 are protesting the fact that AI should be banned from production.
However
, companies aren’t really budging, as it is cheaper to have machinery, rather than
people
 to
work
, because
people
 require a salary per month,
while
 machinery doesn’t. In my opinion, I think that it is a loss of time to major in subjects that could be replaced by AI in the blink of an eye. It is much more important to major in studies
such
 as teaching, psychology, and more humanities-based fields because, no matter how much you try, you
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 never replace the knowledge of a teacher.
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and strong evidence to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Address the task more comprehensively by elaborating on both sides of the argument equally. Currently, one side is more developed than the other.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. This can be achieved by using better transition words and signposting.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea.
task achievement
You have provided a clear opinion in your essay, which is important for a task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to clearly frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have covered both sides of the argument to an extent, demonstrating a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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