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Band 4

International air fares are falling and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity?

#air #fares #tourism #activity
ln
this
 modern world average price in global airline
defisit
Correct your spelling
deficit
 from previous years
while
 the thriving of tourism is
increasingly
Replace the adverb
increasing
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 and the
opposite
Fix the agreement mistake
opposites
show examples
. In
thriving
Correct article usage
a thriving
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 economic population, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
know about something good in
globalization
Correct article usage
the globalization
show examples
 era.
People
 like to
travel
 or holiday to new
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 inside the
country
 or go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad.
civilian
Fix the agreement mistake
civilians
show examples
 with middle and up economic happy to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
something new
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 make it and being
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unforgetable
Correct your spelling
unforgettable
 moment or even send their children to study abroad. First of all, talk about the benefit
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the air flight not to growth are
this
 moment
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
 a best for to
travel
 or across to another
country
 with cheaper cost because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in the past
people
 who want to take
travel
 to
different
Add an article
the different
show examples
country
 must be a wealthy family.
Secondly
, increasing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the price is because of inflation or another aspect
growth
Change preposition
of growth
show examples
 significant, these mean that if
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
paid
Replace the word
pay
show examples
 not going higher it is because of the management or
enonomic
Correct your spelling
economy
 going through and better. The
stakeholder
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stakeholders
show examples
 and the
shareholder
Fix the agreement mistake
shareholders
show examples
 running in the right way to development and will be support most
people
todo
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
travel
in domestic
Replace the word
domestically
show examples
 or abroad.
On The other hand
, international
flight
Fix the agreement mistake
flights
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 budget would make
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 try to think
to visit
Change preposition
of visiting
show examples
 another
country
 that never come
and
Change preposition
to and
show examples
 think that
explore in
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
 the
inside th
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
country
 is not interesting and
o
Correct your spelling
does
 not
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a cool impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 society life.
Moreove
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, when
civilian
Fix the agreement mistake
civilians
show examples
 go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
neighbor
Replace the word
neighbouring
show examples
place
Correct subject-verb agreement
places
show examples
 these mean that they
spn
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 their money in another part of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 not in their motherland. It would
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our economic
developmenet
Correct your spelling
development
 and economic circulation in
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 sector or another who
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
this
 sector.
For instance
, when our domestic tourist holiday in
destination
Add an article
a destination
the destination
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is still in the
country
 it would be a support economic for the society around the destination or in
another word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
our sibling from
Correct article usage
the sam
show examples
sam
Correct your spelling
same
show examples
country
. It is the biggest step to improve the economic folk in different
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
. when the family can improve the income for
thir
Correct your spelling
their
 family as soon as
effecctive
Correct your spelling
effective
 would be a sustainable development in
village
Add an article
the village
show examples
 until development
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 nation. in conclusion, the kind or the bad
circumtance
Correct your spelling
circumstance
circumstances
 in which the
defisit
Correct your spelling
deficit
 price of flight in abroad have a good impact for
people
 and would be a serious problem if the growth is not in the inside of the nation.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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coherence
Focus on structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main point and supporting sentences that develop this point logically.
coherence
Your essay needs a clearer introduction and conclusion. Ensure your introduction presents the main topic and your conclusion summarizes the main points discussed.
task achievement
Work on providing specific examples that directly illustrate the points you are trying to make. This will help to support your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and grammar structures. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your linguistic abilities.
task achievement
You address both the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity, which is good. This shows that you understand the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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