More and more families have computers in their homes. What advantages and disadvantages do home computers have for children? Should parents restrict the amount of time their children spend using the computer?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's era, every particular household has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
own electronic item like
computer
Add an article
a computer
show examples
. Having a
computer
carry
Correct subject-verb agreement
carries
show examples
lots of advantages
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
a children
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
can easily access
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge about
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
through Artificial Intelligence (AI).
Besides
that numerous
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
also
misuse
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
by playing games and chatting. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will examine the benefits and drawbacks of using
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and provide
a
Change the article
an
show examples
eligibal
Correct your spelling
logical
eligible
conclusion. Nowadays, having a
computer
is very common in every household. Many parents purchase a
computer
so their
child
can access new technology and be updated about current
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
around the world and with that their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
and learn new
things
. In today's
generation
Add a comma
generation,
show examples
several teenagers are engaged in learning about (AI) which can benefit them
infuture
Correct your spelling
future
and will kept updated.
For example
, in recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
one
new
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
came
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
of
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
that a woman was visiting every doctor to
have
Verb problem
get
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good treatment
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
his
child
but the astonishing thing was that no doctor was able to detect which kind of problem her
child
was going through, but when that woman wrote the
things
which her
child
was going through AI detected the problem
also
provide a solution even the shocking thing was that her
child
become fit after a month. AI has made every
childrens
Correct your spelling
child's
life uncomplicated with the help of (AI) they can learn
things
easily,
futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
, AI has given them
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to complete their homework, college
assigments
Correct your spelling
assignments
and many more
things
without any difficulties.
In addition
, there are
also
some other
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of children who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
to misuse new technology. Their parent
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
them a
computer
so with that they can gain new knowledge
inseat
Correct your spelling
instead
of that they prefer
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
play games with their friends
also
they are busy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
chatting whole which has ruined their routine
also
they are scoring low in exams. In conclusion, in today's
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
many people own a
computer
in their house, numerous
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
use
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
to gain knowledge and be updated with the current
senaior
Correct your spelling
scenario
senior
,
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
few of the student
misuses
Correct subject-verb agreement
misuse
show examples
the technology by being active in games and chatting.
Submitted by tushalk329 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Pay close attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and readability. For example, 'a children can easily access the knowledge' should be 'children can easily access knowledge.'
examples
Work on providing more relevant and specific examples that clearly support your points. It would make your arguments more convincing.
development
Your essay touches on both advantages and disadvantages, but try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Discuss each point in detail to enhance the strength of your arguments.
introduction conclusion
Improve the introduction and conclusion by making them more direct and concise. Ensure that they effectively frame and summarize your main points.
coverage
The essay covers the main points related to the advantages and disadvantages of children using home computers, and the impact on their daily routine and learning.
examples
The provided example about AI's role in diagnosing a child's health issue is a good start and shows real-world application, though it could be more relevant to the topic at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: