Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays,
fashion
and new trends can cost wealth to the
humans. There are many citizens who look to the growth of the Correct article usage
apply
prices
as something normal. It is useful to be aware of fashion
and prices
. In this
essay, the two viewpoints will be argued.
On one hand, trend
can cost too much money for some individuals. Some of them Fix the agreement mistake
trends
are explain
that they looking for quality. Change the verb form
explain
In addition
, they search for a a
shopping mood Correct article usage
apply
wrer
canCorrect your spelling
that
provide
by luxury brands Wrong verb form
be provided
such
as Carrtire
, Correct your spelling
Cartier
lwee
, etc. I like to purchase from these luxury brands Correct your spelling
were
at the end
of every year. Just one time per year is enough to buy the gift that I deserve.
On the other hand
, many public think this
rise in fashion
prices
is fair. Likewise
, some think fashion
is important in their lives. To be honest, some fashion
is in big demand in the economy in some countries. Such
as,
France, Italy, etc. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, people
love to buy at wealthy
cost and that shows Correct article usage
a wealthy
people
how wealthy they are. In my opinion
it is their choice where they can buy, yet there are a lot option of shopping points that provide the same product with more quality in a great range of Add a comma
opinion,
prices
.
In conclusion, people
have many choices of buying there as wealthy stores and good price stores. They are free to choose. From my own point of view, a lot of people
need more information about fashion
. It is better to exchange the experience about it.Submitted by hanadi.alajmi92 on
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grammar
Work on grammatical and spelling errors to ensure clear communication. Missteps like 'wealth to the humans' and 'wrer' are distracting.
idea development
Clarify your main points and develop them with strong examples. Some points, like the personal experience, need more development to convincingly support the argument.
cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sections of the essay. Use transitional phrases to make connections between points clearer.
structure
Enhance your introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should better outline the coming arguments, and the conclusion should more effectively summarize the key points discussed.
paragraph structure
Use paragraphs more effectively by making sure each paragraph covers one main idea that is well-supported and clearly linked to your thesis.
task response
You address both viewpoints as required by the prompt, giving a balanced discussion.
example
Inclusion of personal experience adds a unique touch that is pertinent to IELTS essays.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?