Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #fashion #items #cost #money #part #life

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Nowadays,

fashion

Use synonyms

and new trends can cost wealth to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humans. There are many citizens who look to the growth of the

prices

Use synonyms

as something normal. It is useful to be aware of

fashion

Use synonyms

and

prices

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, the two viewpoints will be argued. On one hand,

trend

Fix the agreement mistake

trends

show examples

can cost too much money for some individuals. Some of them

are explain

Change the verb form

explain

show examples

that they looking for quality.

In addition

Linking Words

, they search for a

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shopping mood

wrer

Correct your spelling

that

can

provide

Wrong verb form

be provided

show examples

by luxury brands

such

Linking Words

Carrtire

Correct your spelling

Cartier

lwee

Correct your spelling

were

, etc. I like to purchase from these luxury brands

at the end

Linking Words

of every year. Just one time per year is enough to buy the gift that I deserve.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, many public think

this

Linking Words

rise in

fashion

Use synonyms

prices

Use synonyms

is fair.

Likewise

Linking Words

, some think

fashion

Use synonyms

is important in their lives. To be honest, some

fashion

Use synonyms

is in big demand in the economy in some countries.

Such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

France, Italy, etc.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

love to buy at

wealthy

Correct article usage

a wealthy

show examples

cost and that shows

people

Use synonyms

how wealthy they are. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

it is their choice where they can buy, yet there are a lot option of shopping points that provide the same product with more quality in a great range of

prices

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

have many choices of buying there as wealthy stores and good price stores. They are free to choose. From my own point of view, a lot of

people

Use synonyms

need more information about

fashion

Use synonyms

. It is better to exchange the experience about it.

Submitted by hanadi.alajmi92 on Wed May 15 2024

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grammar

Work on grammatical and spelling errors to ensure clear communication. Missteps like 'wealth to the humans' and 'wrer' are distracting.

idea development

Clarify your main points and develop them with strong examples. Some points, like the personal experience, need more development to convincingly support the argument.

cohesion

Improve the logical flow between sections of the essay. Use transitional phrases to make connections between points clearer.

structure

Enhance your introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should better outline the coming arguments, and the conclusion should more effectively summarize the key points discussed.

paragraph structure

Use paragraphs more effectively by making sure each paragraph covers one main idea that is well-supported and clearly linked to your thesis.

task response

You address both viewpoints as required by the prompt, giving a balanced discussion.

example

Inclusion of personal experience adds a unique touch that is pertinent to IELTS essays.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

socio-economic gap
impractical consumer behavior
overspending
accumulation of debt
materialism
superficial values
self-esteem
self-expression
psychological benefits
social benefits
quality of materials
craftsmanship
sustainable practices

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Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

You have a problem with the computer at the office which has affected your work Write a letter to your manager and say What problem do you have What difficulties does this create for you What could be done about it.

Some schools are very strict about their school uniform and appearance of their pupils, while others schools have very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children having school uniform?

Are there any benefits of owning an electric car? saving fuel maintenance of the car cost of the car

With growing number of population within cities, many people are living in small homes that do not have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or a negative development?