ou should spend no more than 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people argue that keeping pets is beneficial for longevity while others believe that household animals are not healthy for people to have as companions. Discuss both sides of the argument, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
In many parts of the world, domestic animals especially cats and dogs are loved by many individuals.
Pets
are very close to people and infact
many people believe that Correct your spelling
in fact
pets
around you increase the lifespan of humans
. Although
, some people debate that Correct word choice
However
pets
are not healthy enough for humans
as they can can
contain germs that can be harmful Remove the redundancy
apply
for
Change the preposition
to
humans
.However
, I am a strong advocate of this
approach and believe that pets
are very essential in a humans
life as they bring happiness in our lives.
Change noun form
human's
Firstly
, Many humans
think that pets
contain germs that are contagious and they can later cause health issues in a person. Needless to say, without any doubt, some pets
if not taken care can impose a great danger to the health of a human. A study conducted in 2022 revealed that the saliva of dogs has 5.7% of
the bacteria around their mouth which when licked Change preposition
apply
to
a human can pass the bacteria causing Change preposition
by
Correct article usage
an enormouse
enormouse
number of diseases starting from their stomach. Correct your spelling
enormous
Never the less
, for these Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
pets
to be stayed away from infants. Five years ago, we had a beautiful dog
which was a husky breed, However
, we had to give it away to one of my friend
because my sister delivered a baby Change to a plural noun
friends
boy
, and the doctor warned us to not keep the dog
close to the baby as the dog
can lick the baby and risk his health.
Nevertheless
, domesticated animals may come with few
drawbacks, but they Correct article usage
a few
also
bring a lot
safety and cherishment to the house. In a recent viral video, it was clearly shown that a Add the preposition
lot of
dog
saved a twelve year old
Add a hyphen
twelve-year-old
boy
from being kidnapped by 2 men who came towards the boy
and tried to force him into the van, thats
when their Correct your spelling
that's
dog
ran and rescued the boy
by biting those men on their leg. In another study, it was revealed that staying around cats lowers the risk of cardiac arrests in humans
.
In conclusion, Domesticated animals who
are not kept clean and Correct pronoun usage
that
hygenic
can pass diseases to Correct your spelling
hygienic
humans
like stomach infection, viral fever or even hair loss. But with
following proper Change preposition
by
hygene
, Correct your spelling
hygiene
pets
bring happiness and extreme entertainment in
the house which Change preposition
into
further
keeps the man stress free
.Add a hyphen
stress-free
Submitted by khadiii60 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay does well in providing both sides of the argument, but there are some moments where clarity can be improved, particularly with transitions and sentence structure. For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, ensure logical progression of ideas and smoother transitions between points.
task achievement
To improve your task achievement score, focus on deepening your analysis. When presenting examples, try to expand on them and link them explicitly back to the argument. Ensure that each point you make directly supports your main thesis.
general
There are minor grammatical and vocabulary errors. For instance, 'infact' should be 'in fact', and ‘thats’ should be 'that's'. Make sure to proofread your essay to avoid these small mistakes, as they can affect the overall readability.
content
The essay covers both sides of the argument, providing relevant examples to support each point. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
structure
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure to the essay. This helps the flow of reading and comprehension.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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