It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the world has become more competitive than it was.
Consequently
, people strive to gain more money
, get a better job, and have a better life quality. It is undeniable that taking risks
can be an accelerator for achieving goals since it reduces time and effort. This
essay will elaborate on reasons why I think the benefits of taking risks
is
more important than the drawbacks.
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
To begin
with, taking risks
can make a shortcut for people to achieve their goals. Although
,
you are not lucky enough, you will learn something from your experiences and decisions. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, some people want to gain
a lot of Verb problem
earn
money
, so they have to invest a lot of money
as well. In addition
, if you want to be promoted in your workplace, you have to complete some challenging tasks so your colleges
will acknowledge your ability. Replace the word
colleagues
As a result
, you have a lot more chances to get your dream position.
On the other hand
, financial loss is the main issue when we think about taking risks
either in personal
lives or professional lives because Correct pronoun usage
our personal
money
can solve problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
occurred
from damages. Wrong verb form
that occur
For instance
, you may lose your job when you try to negotiate benefits during the hiring process. However
, it is possible to bring back the money
that you have spent by savings.
To sum up
, taking risks
has both advantages and disadvantages. For
the good side, it creates a shorter journey which can save Change preposition
On
your
time and resources. Correct pronoun usage
you
Also
, it will give you experiences
. Fix the agreement mistake
experience
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
the
financial loss can occur, Correct article usage
apply
this
is not the problem that you should concern
with. As Wrong verb form
be concerned
such
, I agree that taking risks
is more beneficial according to
the reasons above.Submitted by Punpun on
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task achievement
Expand on relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, provide detailed scenarios where taking risks has led to success or failure.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow by making sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more coherently.
introduction conclusion present
You've provided a clear introduction setting the context and your view on the topic, which helps set the stage for your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion restates your opinion and briefly summarizes the main points, which ties the essay together effectively.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, which adds depth to your essay.