IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the world has become more competitive than it was.
Consequently
Linking Words
, people strive to gain more
money
Use synonyms
, get a better job, and have a better life quality. It is undeniable that taking
risks
Use synonyms
 can be an accelerator for achieving goals since it reduces time and effort.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on reasons why I think the benefits of taking
risks
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more important than the drawbacks.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 can make a shortcut for people to achieve their goals.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 you are not lucky enough, you will learn something from your experiences and decisions.
For example
Linking Words
, some people want to
gain
Verb problem
earn
show examples
 a lot of
money
Use synonyms
, so they have to invest a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 as well.
In addition
Linking Words
, if you want to be promoted in your workplace, you have to complete some challenging tasks so your
colleges
Replace the word
colleagues
show examples
 will acknowledge your ability.
As a result
Linking Words
, you have a lot more chances to get your dream position.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, financial loss is the main issue when we think about taking
risks
Use synonyms
 either in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
our personal
show examples
 lives or professional lives because
money
Use synonyms
 can solve
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
occurred
Wrong verb form
that occur
show examples
 from damages.
For instance
Linking Words
, you may lose your job when you try to negotiate benefits during the hiring process.
However
Linking Words
, it is possible to bring back the
money
Use synonyms
 that you have spent by savings.
To sum up
Linking Words
, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 has both advantages and disadvantages.
For
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the good side, it creates a shorter journey which can save
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 time and resources.
Also
Linking Words
, it will give you
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial loss can occur,
this
Linking Words
 is not the problem that you should
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
 with. As
such
Linking Words
, I agree that taking
risks
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial
according to
Linking Words
 the reasons above.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, provide detailed scenarios where taking risks has led to success or failure.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow by making sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more coherently.
introduction conclusion present
You've provided a clear introduction setting the context and your view on the topic, which helps set the stage for your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion restates your opinion and briefly summarizes the main points, which ties the essay together effectively.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, which adds depth to your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: