More and more people today are moving away from where their friends and family live. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, we live in an epoch of globalization.
As a consequence
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, more and more people are moving away from their motherlands and hometowns. Some believe the trend has more negative sides,
whereas
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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others
conversely
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consider the pluses do
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
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minuses
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the minuses
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. In
this
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essay, both
advantages
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the advantages
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and disadvantages of
this
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phenomenon will be represented. At first glance, we cannot ignore the fact that life is quite short,
whereas
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the Earth is enormous.
Hence
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, it is highly unreasonable to dedicate it (to) (only
one
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/single) thing just
as well as
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to spend our valuable time
on
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apply
show examples
staying in
one
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place on
this
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planet, particularly if a person
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for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
example, is not satisfied with the local climate, weather etc. Another argument in favour of the point is more than reasonable: it is worth noting the scientific fact that, learning anything new, always induces
the
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apply
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neurogenesis – the process of
borning
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burning
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or
appearing
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appearance
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of new neurons – which is rather advantageous, especially for the future.
Thus
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, there is no doubt if you are going to move abroad permanently, you will have to study a new language.
Furthermore
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,
one
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interesting correlation has been observed, individuals, who are excellent at least in
one
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foreign tongue have less chance
to develop
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of developing
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many different neurodegenerative diseases in their elderly ages
such
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as Alzheimer’s.
However
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, the flip side of the coin is
unfortunately
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, unfortunately
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, everyone is getting older and our parents are not an exception. They are not always able to move away
with
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from
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you for several reasons.
Therefore
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, nobody will take care of them, but you.
Also
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, it is rather difficult to make new friends
paticularely
Correct your spelling
particularly
, in non-native countries. In conclusion,
although
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it is
personal
Add an article
a personal
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matter for everyone whether to stay in
one
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place
immigrate
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or immigrate
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to
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apply
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somewhere, it is
also
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really
to
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important to
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think of our parents and make a plan
how
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for how
show examples
to take care of them in the future. The solution might be the distant help or something else.
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task achievement
While the introduction sets the stage well, ensure that the thesis statement clearly mentions whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are supported with relevant examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical and lexical nuances to ensure higher accuracy, for instance: 'borning' should be 'birth'.
coherence cohesion
You've structured the essay logically, with a clear introduction and conclusion, keeping the reader engaged throughout.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of the trend.
task achievement
The essay touches on some insightful points related to globalization and neurogenesis, which adds depth to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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