More and more people today are moving away from where their friends and family live. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, we live in an epoch of globalization.
As a consequence
, more and more people are moving away from their motherlands and hometowns. Some believe the trend has more negative sides, whereas
the
others Correct article usage
apply
conversely
consider the pluses do overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
minuses
. In Correct article usage
the minuses
this
essay, both advantages
and disadvantages of Correct article usage
the advantages
this
phenomenon will be represented.
At first glance, we cannot ignore the fact that life is quite short, whereas
the Earth is enormous. Hence
, it is highly unreasonable to dedicate it (to) (only one
/single) thing just as well as
to spend our valuable time on
staying in Change preposition
apply
one
place on this
planet, particularly if a person for
example, is not satisfied with the local climate, weather etc. Another argument in favour of the point is more than reasonable: it is worth noting the scientific fact that, learning anything new, always induces Add the comma(s)
, for
the
neurogenesis – the process of Correct article usage
apply
borning
or Correct your spelling
burning
appearing
of new neurons – which is rather advantageous, especially for the future. Replace the word
appearance
Thus
, there is no doubt if you are going to move abroad permanently, you will have to study a new language. Furthermore
, one
interesting correlation has been observed, individuals, who are excellent at least in one
foreign tongue have less chance to develop
many different neurodegenerative diseases in their elderly ages Change preposition
of developing
such
as Alzheimer’s.
However
, the flip side of the coin is unfortunately
, everyone is getting older and our parents are not an exception. They are not always able to move away Add the comma(s)
, unfortunately
with
you for several reasons. Change preposition
from
Therefore
, nobody will take care of them, but you. Also
, it is rather difficult to make new friends paticularely
, in non-native countries.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
particularly
although
it is personal
matter for everyone whether to stay in Add an article
a personal
one
place immigrate
Correct word choice
or immigrate
to
somewhere, it is Change preposition
apply
also
really to
think of our parents and make a plan Correct word choice
important to
how
to take care of them in the future. The solution might be the distant help or something else.Change preposition
for how
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task achievement
While the introduction sets the stage well, ensure that the thesis statement clearly mentions whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are supported with relevant examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical and lexical nuances to ensure higher accuracy, for instance: 'borning' should be 'birth'.
coherence cohesion
You've structured the essay logically, with a clear introduction and conclusion, keeping the reader engaged throughout.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of the trend.
task achievement
The essay touches on some insightful points related to globalization and neurogenesis, which adds depth to your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example