Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Social places

such

Linking Words

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

and art galleries have an integral part in understanding

history

Use synonyms

. It is,

therefore

Linking Words

, not surprising to see how it has caused a controversy among people about whether countries should focus

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

own

history

Use synonyms

and

culture

Use synonyms

or not. Some people firmly support their argument,

others

Correct word choice

while others

show examples

adamantly object to it. I have solid reasons to agree with both two of which are presenting their cultural heritage and giving

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to different cultures.

To begin

Linking Words

with, supporters of

this

Linking Words

matter claim that social place should show their own

culture

Use synonyms

and

history

Use synonyms

, especially for tourists who

are visit

Change the verb form

are visiting

show examples

the country to learn more about the

country

Change noun form

country's

show examples

history

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, İstanbul Modern Art Gallery includes popular artists’ works more than their local artists.

This

Linking Words

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

convincing argument depending on

fact

Add an article

the fact

show examples

that

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

various

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

can confuse

visitor

Fix the agreement mistake

visitors

show examples

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

Also

Linking Words

, tourists want to observe places own

culture

Use synonyms

. It leads to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of considering countries own

history

Use synonyms

and

culture

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, intellectual activities like visiting

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

and art

gallery

Fix the agreement mistake

galleries

show examples

link to exploring local life.

Therefore

Linking Words

, urban places should show only local experiences. The opponents of

this

Linking Words

matter have

a totally different perspectives

Correct the article-noun agreement

a totally different perspective

totally different perspectives

show examples

about

this

Linking Words

debate. They emphasize that globalization impacts social

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

show examples

such

Linking Words

as international tourists. It may be argued

this

Linking Words

is very important as cultural heritage is part of

global

Correct article usage

the global

show examples

World.

It is clear that

Linking Words

natural disasters and war

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

have a hazardous effect on historical pieces.

Therefore

Linking Words

protection

Correct article usage

the protection

show examples

of world heritage is

responsibility

Add an article

the responsibility

show examples

of everyone.

In other words

Linking Words

, preservation and bringing essential pieces of

history

Use synonyms

to visitors is more important than where they are displayed.

For example

Linking Words

British

Correct article usage

the British

show examples

Museum presents very crucial historical pieces about not only

Add an article

the antic

show examples

antic

Capitalize word

Antic

show examples

world but

also

Linking Words

the

roman empire

Correct your spelling

Roman Empire

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

, people have

a totally different perspectives

Correct the article-noun agreement

a totally different perspective

totally different perspectives

show examples

about

this

Linking Words

matter.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, when everything is taken into account, I am inclined to believe that there should be a delicate balance between these two arguments.

emiretatli7Wed May 15 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your task response, continue to delve deeper into each argument, providing more specific examples and detailed analysis to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to work on the flow between your paragraphs and ideas. Use transitional phrases to make your essay read more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction clearly sets up the debate and your conclusion effectively summarizes your points, consider making your thesis statement more explicit in the introduction and explicitly restating your position in the conclusion.

task achievement

Your essay effectively presents a balanced perspective, discussing both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The use of clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph helps to guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?