Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Social places
such
as museum
and art galleries have an integral part in understanding Fix the agreement mistake
museums
history
. It is, therefore
, not surprising to see how it has caused a controversy among people about whether countries should focus their
own Change preposition
on their
history
and culture
or not. Some people firmly support their argument, others
adamantly object to it. I have solid reasons to agree with both two of which are presenting their cultural heritage and giving Correct word choice
while others
chance
to different cultures.
Correct article usage
a chance
To begin
with, supporters of this
matter claim that social place should show their own culture
and history
, especially for tourists who are visit
the country to learn more about the Change the verb form
are visiting
country
Change noun form
country's
history
. For instance
, İstanbul Modern Art Gallery includes popular artists’ works more than their local artists. This
is very
convincing argument depending on Correct article usage
a very
fact
that Add an article
the fact
this
various Correct determiner usage
these
situation
can confuse Fix the agreement mistake
situations
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
mind
. Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Also
, tourists want to observe places own culture
. It leads to lack
of considering countries own Correct article usage
a lack
history
and culture
. On the other hand
, intellectual activities like visiting museum
and art Fix the agreement mistake
museums
gallery
link to exploring local life. Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
Therefore
, urban places should show only local experiences.
The opponents of this
matter have a totally different perspectives
about Correct the article-noun agreement
a totally different perspective
totally different perspectives
this
debate. They emphasize that globalization impacts social connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
such
as international tourists. It may be argued this
is very important as cultural heritage is part of global
World. Correct article usage
the global
It is clear that
natural disasters and war risk
have a hazardous effect on historical pieces. Fix the agreement mistake
risks
Therefore
, protection
of world heritage is Correct article usage
the protection
responsibility
of everyone. Add an article
the responsibility
In other words
, preservation and bringing essential pieces of history
to visitors is more important than where they are displayed. For example
, British
Museum presents very crucial historical pieces about not only Correct article usage
the British
Add an article
the antic
antic
world but Capitalize word
Antic
also
the roman empire
.
Correct your spelling
Roman Empire
To sum up
, people have a totally different perspectives
about Correct the article-noun agreement
a totally different perspective
totally different perspectives
this
matter. Nevertheless
, when everything is taken into account, I am inclined to believe that there should be a delicate balance between these two arguments.Submitted by emiretatli7 on
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task achievement
To enhance your task response, continue to delve deeper into each argument, providing more specific examples and detailed analysis to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to work on the flow between your paragraphs and ideas. Use transitional phrases to make your essay read more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction clearly sets up the debate and your conclusion effectively summarizes your points, consider making your thesis statement more explicit in the introduction and explicitly restating your position in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay effectively presents a balanced perspective, discussing both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The use of clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph helps to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.