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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual ’ income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual ’ income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#households #income #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart showed the difference among the amount of
households
Use synonyms
 categorized through their
income
Use synonyms
 every
year
Use synonyms
 are 2007, 2011, and 2015 in the United States.
Overall
Linking Words
, all of
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
 types of
households
Use synonyms
 took the same number of
households
Use synonyms
 from 2007 to 2015, except the one
earned
Correct pronoun usage
that earned
show examples
 $100.000 or more per
year
Use synonyms
. In 2007, that one took nearly 29
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 families but it increased
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 34
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
households
Use synonyms
 with
income
Use synonyms
 levels $50.000 - $74.999 and $75.000 - $99.999 annual
year
Use synonyms
 has hardly changed in all 3 years. Both of them are only
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
21 and 14
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 families respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, $75.000 - $99.999 was the classification with the fewest
households
Use synonyms
 among all
fives
Fix the agreement mistake
five
show examples
income
Use synonyms
classification
Fix the agreement mistake
classifications
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
although
Linking Words
 the range of
income
Use synonyms
 over $100.000 per
year
Use synonyms
 declined from 29
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 (in 2007) to 27
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 houses (in 2011), it had an increase in 2015 until 34
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
households
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the amount of
households
Use synonyms
 in the 5
income
Use synonyms
 categories annually has a quite different distribution.
Submitted by chauhongngoc.577 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words households, income, year, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
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