Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is a good trend, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Certain individuals believe that businesses promoting their products and services by funding games is a negative trend
however
others think that it has a multitude of benefits. In this
essay, both arguments will be examined to explore reasons for such
kinds of beliefs. Additionally
, I completely favour the positive results obtained through companies supporting sports although
a certain degree of caution has to be exercised.
In the contemporary era, the sportsmen or the authorities are trying to find investors to assist them and in exchange
they get Add a comma
exchange,
benefit
of advertising their company. It is a creative method to revive some games in which Add an article
the benefit
public
has lost Correct article usage
the public
an
interest. Remove the article
apply
Besides
this
, investors are rewarded by
a substantial increase in their sales and profits. To exemplify, In India, many actors started playing soccer by creating a league event and many businesses funded them. In return, Change preposition
with
youth
of the country started taking an interest in the event. Add an article
the youth
a youth
Consequently
, there is a massive gain in the number of people playing soccer in India and the game is revived by these efforts.
On the contrary
, the advertising persuasion of the fans of a game is sometimes so strong that it affects the critical thinking of an individual. There are a plethora of vulnerable people who get eroded by the allure of advertisers. To illustrate this
, nowadays, the trend of betting playbooks is at its zenith which are promoted along with
hockey league matches. Thus
, many of the fanatics among them lose their money which lead
them into financial instability.
In conclusion, the benefits of the funding have a significant impact on a game and the way Change the verb form
leads
its
perceived by the public. Ergo, countries need many athletes in different categories of athletic events so Replace the word
it's
it is
this
is the way to promote it. On the other hand
, some challenges are there but can be overcome by awareness. From my perspective, companies are helping sports through promotions.Submitted by Kiran on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate slightly more on your points, especially the disadvantages of companies sponsoring sports. Providing additional specific examples or statistical data could make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
In some parts of the essay, there are minor grammatical errors and awkward expressions. Consider refining your grammar and sentence structure to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
It is advisable to use more transitional phrases and linking words to further strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs and within your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clear, summarizing the points discussed effectively.
supported main points
You provided relevant and concrete examples to support your arguments, which helps in illustrating your points.
complete response
You have addressed both sides of the argument and provided a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example