IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to four London museums. Interpret the information as given in the chart and write what you perceive in 150 words.

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to four London museums. Interpret the information as given in the chart and write what you perceive in 150 words.
#bar #visitors #four #london #museums #information
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Given in the chart is
data
Use synonyms
 relating to the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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amount of people visiting various museums within London in different
months
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
data
Use synonyms
set
Fix the agreement mistake
sets
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 of museums are similar in all
months
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the British
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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 has the most visitors throughout the timeframe. Considering the History sector, the numbers are the same, particularly around 400000 in both June
an
Correct your spelling
and
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 July. The number of visits to
this
Linking Words
 museum rose to 600000 in August, where it started to drop for the
last
Linking Words
 two
months
Use synonyms
 until it
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
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 approximately 200000. To British museums, the
data
Use synonyms
 shares the same starting point with its History counterpart in the first two
months
Use synonyms
 of the time period. From July to August, there is an increase in the visiting number of nearly
three quarter
Add a hyphen
three-quarter
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 of its starting point, as it reached its peak.
Following
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
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 the
data
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 experienced a steady drop to the point of 450000 in December. Turning to the remaining figures, the
data
Use synonyms
 of
National
Correct article usage
the National
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museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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 only witnessed a marginal fluctuation in the entire time period, with the figures being the same for the first two
months
Use synonyms
 with 200000,
then
Linking Words
 rose by a half of its headstart until August and returning to its start in September and December. Regarding the Science section, in the first three
months
Use synonyms
, the figures vary between the range of 400000 and 430000.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the amount of
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
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turns
Verb problem
apply
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increased to half a million in August
then
Linking Words
 decreased to exactly 30000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the timeframe.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words data, months with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.
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