IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The process describes the process of smoked fish producing

#process #fish
The process demonstrates the steps which is about smoked
fish
 production.
Overall
, it is easily obvious that smoking
fish
 can be divided into 3 main stages beginning with catching and transportation, followed by storage and processing, and
finally
further
 storage and distribution to
fish
 shops for retailing.
To begin
 with, the
fish
 are
catched
Correct your spelling
caught
show examples
 by nets and
then
 transported by boat to the port. From
this
 point, they are frozen so that it doesn't rot,
then
 later the frozen
fish
 is melted and washed by fresh water. The next stage is cutting off extra limbs and putting them into saltwater
as well as
 the colour yellow is added to the
salt water
Correct your spelling
saltwater
show examples
.
Following
this
, they are smoked. After smoking, the
fish
 are packaged in boxes and again under-freezing, so the next part is keeping them in a cold store.
Finally
, they are distributed by track with fridges to shops to sell to customers.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure verb tenses agree (e.g., 'fish are caught' instead of 'fish are catched').
task achievement
Provide a bit more detail in specific steps to fully explain the process.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and stages.
task achievement
Good overview of the main stages involved in the process.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure that follows the sequence of the process.
introduction conclusion
Clear introduction and conclusion summarizing the process.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: