Some people see sports only as a leisure activities while others believe sports play a more important role .Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is asserted
by
some individuals that Change preposition
apply
games
are only a way of enjoying their free time whereas
others think that sports
play a crucial role.I will discuss both views and why I believe it to be more than just a recreational activity.
To commence with,sports
are an excellent way of relaxation and amusement,so are thought to be an idle time activity.To elaborate,most of
Change preposition
apply
the
people like to play some Correct article usage
apply
games
with their friend
and family in the evening after Fix the agreement mistake
friends
the
long working hours at their jobs ,Correct article usage
apply
therefore
,playing with loved ones become
an activity of enjoyment which can give relief from Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
exhaustion
of jobs.Add an article
the exhaustion
For example
,according to
a survey done in India almost 70% of working women like to spend their evenings while
playing Correct word choice
apply
bedminton
with their friends which gives them a stress-free feeling.Correct your spelling
badminton
Hence
,games
are a great mean
of entertainment for numerous people.
Fix the agreement mistake
means
On the other hand
,getting indulged in sports
activities is imperative for physical fitness.To explain it,people who play games
daily and do some exercises,always stay healthy and happy because diseases stay away from them.Moreover
,games
also
inculcate the
ethics in the players Correct article usage
apply
such
as socialization,discipline and team spirit.Further
,sports
provide multifarious job opportunities and professionals in this
field earn much more money than any other job.For instance
,the salary of the Indian cricket coach is about two lakh per month which is a huge amount to be earned by a trainer.Thus
,sports
play a significant role in human life.
In conclusion,although
sports
are the best way to spend leisure time with friends and family,it also
provides physical fitness, morals and job opportunities to the
individuals.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by japjotsandhu8553 on
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task achievement
The introduction is clear and effectively outlines the two sides of the discussion while stating your opinion. To strengthen your position, make sure to clearly elaborate on why you believe sports play a more important role beyond just stating it at the beginning.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, your ideas are well-organized and generally easy to follow. However, work on providing more specific examples to support your points. This would enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from more cohesive devices and varied sentence structures to further improve the flow of your writing. Linking words and transitional phrases could make the argument more seamlessly connected.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the topic and your opinion, which contributes to a coherent structure overall.
support
Your essay includes main points that are clearly supported with examples and explanations, adding to the development of your arguments.
logical structure
The overall logical structure is well-organized, which makes it easy for the reader to follow the arguments being presented.
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