Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why is this case? How can they be encoutaged to go out?

#people #holidays #weekends #activities #environments #case

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By the millenniums, adults’ preference about westing their weekends have been changed. Today they tend to spend their holidays by not doing physical challenges on the outside.It has wrong

due to

Linking Words

the fact that, they do not have enough data about

this

Linking Words

activities

Use synonyms

teenagers

Use synonyms

will be involved into

activities

Use synonyms

in natural, if the company will have a strong advertisement on social

platforms

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, in

this

Linking Words

field

teenagers

Use synonyms

do not own knowledge about variety of outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. They keep with belief that there is nothing exciting for youth .

For example

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:In fact, there are more than 20

activities

Use synonyms

in Utah,but only a few percent of adults know about it.

Thus

Linking Words

, lack of information about

such

Linking Words

industries contribute adults to choose an another option. It is known that

teenagers

Use synonyms

have addiction from social

platforms

Use synonyms

. If

companies

Use synonyms

whom belong the outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

do a powerful PR on social

platforms

Use synonyms

, it will become interesting for them to try it.

For example

Linking Words

: in the Uzbekistan,

companies

Use synonyms

pay more attention on advertising their services both on social networking systems.Since it has been involved, more

then

Linking Words

half percent of visitors turning to

teenagers

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, if

companies

Use synonyms

do more advertising in social

platforms

Use synonyms

, more adults will be encouraged into climbing and e.d. In conclusion,The main reason of the issue is that there are not enough data about challenges in natural environments.In order to copy with

this

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companies

Use synonyms

should care about PR.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu May 16 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the task but lacks in-depth exploration and specificity. Ensure that each point is clearly related to the topic and provides a comprehensive view of the issue.

coherence cohesion

Improve the essay's organization by creating clear topic sentences and linking ideas logically. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and provide clear supporting evidence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need more clarity and should effectively encapsulate the main points discussed in the essay.

task achievement

Make sure your ideas are fully developed by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Each argument should be clear and insightful.

task achievement

The essay attempts to address the main points of the task, identifying both the reasons for the issue and potential solutions.

task achievement

Some relevant examples are given to support the points made, such as the example of Utah and Uzbekistan.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

233 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

digital entertainment
urbanization
peer influence
natural environments
engage in outdoor activities
lack of awareness
safety concerns
convenient
remote areas
benefits
unfamiliar areas

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Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why is this case? How can they be encoutaged to go out?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The best way to reduce poverty is to provide at least 6 years of free education for all children to learn to listen,read and count the number.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and government should stop spending large amount of money on their armed forces . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

To what extent has the internet made life more convinient? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.