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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the past peope used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#peope #travel #differences #home #country #cities #world
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People
Use synonyms
 could go overseas in order to get information about a handful of differences between their countries. These days, almost every city has the same appearance. There are several reasons for
this
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 trend. The first is that in order to draw
people
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's attention,
while
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 the second is that average
cities
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, in terms of development, are copying the construction of urban areas from modern
cities
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, and
this
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 has more advantages than disadvantages. On the one hand, these days, in the past,
people
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 who went abroad in order to look for a myriad of picturesque buildings since there were no
such
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 places in their country,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would give rise to the possibility that the government or country might lose a number of
people
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.
For example
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,
people
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 in the USA tend to stay in their places for travel or other reasons.
Furthermore
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, some
cities
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 copy the modern appearance of urban areas to grab the attention of visitors with a new  and comfortable atmosphere.
On the other hand
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, there are a lot of advantages, even though all of the developed
cities
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 are so similar. Formerly, if
people
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 in the average class could not afford to travel to well-known
cities
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, they were given opportunities to feel as these emotions in their own
cities
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.
Hence
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, in developed
cities
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,
people
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 consist of almost all over the world, so there are many kinds of religions and traditions
as well as
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 customs that can make the
cities
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 similar.  In conclusion, there are all the concepts  and reasons given. All of these can give rise to the fact that I think
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 may outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next one.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topics that your essay will cover.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a response to the questions asked, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide reasons and examples, which shows that you are trying to support your answers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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