IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The process diagram illustrates the steps by which liquid chocolate is produced from cocoa beans.

The process diagram illustrates the steps by which liquid chocolate is produced from cocoa beans.
The flow chart demonstrates the fascinating process of making delicious chocolate from
cocoa
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
. In general, it consists of 10 stages in the production of smooth and rich liquid chocolate from
cocoa
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, the vibrant red pods are carefully ripened on the cacao tree, which thrives in tropical regions
such
Linking Words
 as South America, Africa and Indonesia.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the ripe
cocoa
Use synonyms
 pods are harvested and precious white
cocoa
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
 inside are extracted and subjected to fermentation .
Additionally
Linking Words
 , after the fermentation process of
beans
Use synonyms
, they are spread out in the sun to dry.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
beans
Use synonyms
 are
then
Linking Words
 carefully placed in large sacks, which are
throughouly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
 dried and transported to the factory by train or lorry. In the subsequent stage, the crucial roasting process of
beans
Use synonyms
 begins at
temperature
Add an article
a temperature
the temperature
show examples
 of 350 degrees , followed by the crushing and removal of their outer shells.
Finally
Linking Words
, the inner parts are pressed until the delightful liquid chocolate is meticulously made.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cocoa, beans with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: