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Band 3.5

People likes to travel or work in the time between highschool and university studies. What ara the advantages and disadvantages

#people #travel #work #time #highschool #university #studies #ara
people
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 to
travel
 or
work
 in the
time
 between
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 and
university
 studies, a lot of
people
likes
Replace the word
like
show examples
 to
travel
 or
work
 before
university
 studies, so in
this
 essay, we will know the advantages and the
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
to
Change preposition
of working
show examples
work
 or
travel
Verb problem
travelling
show examples
 after
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
. There are many
advatages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 a
job
 or
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your country
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 vacation, one of them,
if
Add a missing verb
is if
show examples
people
 go
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 tourism it will help them to take a break from
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 they will get more energy to complete study at
university
,
moreover
travel
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
 saw
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 cultures, meet many
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
people
 and that's
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 thing for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
humans, and if
people
 get a
job
 after a
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 they will has more experience,
besides
,
work
 can make
people
 save money
while
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
 young. But
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 sides, there are
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 to
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 or
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 after
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
,
people
 may
be come
Correct your spelling
become
show examples
 lazy if they
stopped
Wrong verb form
stop
show examples
 studying for a
while
, in that
case
Add the comma(s)
case,
show examples
 many
people
 will think they are not
interstd
Correct your spelling
interested
to go
Change preposition
in going
show examples
 to
university
,
second,
even if they go to
university
 they will lose
time
, and maybe they will lose
also
 some information related to study especially if they spend
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
 out of their country or if they
work
 for a long
time
.
finally
, it's good to
travel
 or get a
job
 after
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
, but in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
people
 shouldn't do that for a long
time
,
for example
, two weeks of
travel
 will be good or get
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in summer only.
Submitted by fadhool200430 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your main points. This will give your essay a clear roadmap.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas. This improves readability and organization.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or scenarios to support your points. These will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure to avoid repetition of ideas. This will help to keep the essay concise and focused.
language
Pay attention to grammatical structures and verb tenses. Small errors can sometimes hinder comprehension.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a personal viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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