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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

People likes to travel or work in the time between highschool and university studies. What ara the advantages and disadvantages

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Introduction
people
Use synonyms
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 to
travel
Use synonyms
 or
work
Use synonyms
 in the
time
Use synonyms
 between
Use synonyms
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 and
university
Use synonyms
 studies, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
likes
Replace the word
like
show examples
 to
travel
Use synonyms
 or
work
Use synonyms
 before
university
Use synonyms
 studies, so in
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will know the advantages and the
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
to
Change preposition
of working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
travel
Verb problem
travelling
show examples
 after
Use synonyms
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
There are many
advatages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 a
job
Use synonyms
 or
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your country
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 vacation, one of them,
if
Add a missing verb
is if
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 go
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 tourism it will help them to take a break from
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 they will get more energy to complete study at
university
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,
moreover
Linking Words
travel
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make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 saw
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 cultures, meet many
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
people
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 and that's
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 thing for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
humans, and if
people
Use synonyms
 get a
job
Use synonyms
 after a
Use synonyms
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 they will has more experience,
besides
Linking Words
,
work
Use synonyms
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 save money
while
Linking Words
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
 young.
Body paragraph 2
But
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 sides, there are
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 to
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 or
Use synonyms
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 after
Use synonyms
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 may
be come
Correct your spelling
become
show examples
 lazy if they
stopped
Wrong verb form
stop
show examples
 studying for a
while
Linking Words
, in that
case
Add the comma(s)
case,
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 will think they are not
interstd
Correct your spelling
interested
to go
Change preposition
in going
show examples
 to
university
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,
second,
Linking Words
even if they go to
university
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 they will lose
time
Use synonyms
, and maybe they will lose
also
Linking Words
 some information related to study especially if they spend
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 out of their country or if they
work
Use synonyms
 for a long
time
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
finally
Linking Words
, it's good to
travel
Use synonyms
 or get a
job
Use synonyms
 after
Use synonyms
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
, but in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 shouldn't do that for a long
time
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, two weeks of
travel
Use synonyms
 will be good or get
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in summer only.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your main points. This will give your essay a clear roadmap.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas. This improves readability and organization.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or scenarios to support your points. These will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure to avoid repetition of ideas. This will help to keep the essay concise and focused.
language
Pay attention to grammatical structures and verb tenses. Small errors can sometimes hinder comprehension.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a personal viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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