Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
It is sometimes argued that young
people
are supposed to suffer same
punishments as adults when break the law seriously. In my opinion, Correct article usage
the same
while
children
should take responsibilities
for their Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
behaviours
, they are not ought to be punished severly
.
There are several reasons why it is necessary for Correct your spelling
severely
childs
to pay for their actions. First of all, it can make Correct your spelling
children
people
's communities more safety. This
is because individuals, especially young people
, are inclined to commit crimes without any punishment. For example
, children
are highly to rob
goods from supermarkets Verb problem
buy
instead
of buying it
. If there are Correct pronoun usage
them
not
regulations to constrain those bad Correct your spelling
no
behaviours
, there will be more thieves in the commuinity
. Correct your spelling
community
As a result
, people
have to be
live in Unnecessary verb
apply
a
more dangerous surroundings. Apart from that, it Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
help
Change the verb form
helps
children
to establish the correct outlook on life
. The reason for that is
after taking responsibilites
for their actions, they can know that they did something wrong and have bad Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsibilities
influneces
on Correct your spelling
influences
influence
societies
. So that, in the future, they can distinguish what Fix the agreement mistake
society
behaviours
are harmful to people
's life
and not encouraged. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Therefore
, they may develop a better person.
By contrast
, I still hold the view that they do not have to be treated in such
serious
way. First and foremost, it is unequal to punish Correct article usage
a serious
children
as adults. Sometimes children
may break the laws without realizing,
Remove the comma
apply
because
they are too young to know all of the regulations. Correct pronoun usage
it because
This
means that,
they are highly likely to commit crimes unintentionally. Based on that, Remove the comma
apply
people
should not punish them as adults who are clearly know
the Change the verb form
clearly know
compensations
. Fix the agreement mistake
compensation
Furthermore
, some punishments which includes
body injuries are too heavy for young Change the verb form
include
people
to suffer, by experiencing them children
are easy to have mental problems . For example
, some serious punishments need to tourte
Correct your spelling
torture
people
, under that situation, young people
may incur
them to have mental Verb problem
cause
dieases
, which may destroy their Correct your spelling
diseases
whloe
Correct your spelling
whole
life
in
an early age.
Change preposition
at
To sum up
, although
children
should compensate for their behaviours
to keep society more safe
and have Replace the words
safer
a
right Correct article usage
the
life
direction, I think they are not supposed to be punished as older people
due to
their inconscious
and mental health.Correct your spelling
unconscious
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grammar
Ensure that you consistently use the correct form of words, paying attention to singular and plural forms ('children' instead of 'childs').
coherence
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs using linking words and phrases ('In addition,' 'Therefore,' 'As a result').
task response
Make sure to clarify your points with specific, relevant examples. Your argument about children's mental health could be supported by specific evidence or studies.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument well.
task response
You address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
task response
Your points about the differences between children and adults in terms of understanding and mental health are strong and relevant to the argument.