In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at 4 years old while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?
In some
countries
it is thought advisable that Add a comma
countries,
children
begin formal education
at 4 years
old while
in others they do not have to start school
until they are seven or eight. Although
education
in Azerbaijan used to start at the age
of 6, it has been starting at the age
of 5 for the last
2-3 years
. I am against starting at 5 years
old because not all children
have the same perception and at 5 years
old they are still discovering new things on their own. I am in favor of them going to kindergarten until the age
of 6 or 7, because it is stronger
for them to start their socialization period there, to build relationships by playing games and having fun. In countries Correct word choice
easier
such
as the United States of America and China, formal education
begins at the age
of 4-5, which depends on their
cultural, social, and individual factors. In my opinion, Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
is a punishment for children
because they take away the entertainment in their life and it is burdened at the earliest time
of childhood. I don't agree with this
idea, because some parents keep their children
for an extra year and send them to school
at the age
of 8 because they don't want to. If a child does not have any problems related to his health, they should not be late to school
without natural compulsion. Because the expression "time
is gold" fits perfectly, it is an advantage for them not to lag behind their peers in time
. But some family's
economic situation, Fix the agreement mistake
families'
low
income level may be a reason for their Correct word choice
and low
children
to start school
late or not at all. In this
regard, we are lucky that public schools are free, only school
supplies and uniforms are provided by us. In my opinion, in front of this
advantage, those who do not go to school
lose many things without even knowing it. Because in childhood, our brain is as clean as white paper and ready to receive new information. In my opinion, since the ideal age
to start school
is 6, a child who grew up having fun until this
age
should take a step forward in education
with a sense of responsibility at the age
of 6, and the stateAdd the comma(s)
, as well as parents,
as well as
parents should support them in the name of becoming bright people of the future. In conclusion, education
should be important for every young person especially
at Add the comma(s)
, especially
this
time
and to see the hard work of it, it should be progressed in education
from an early age
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coherence cohesion
Include a clearer introduction that outlines the structure of the essay. This will guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it with relevant examples or elaboration. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more coherent.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion of both views on the topic. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue and improve your task achievement score.
task achievement
Include more detailed and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more compelling and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a personal viewpoint on the issue, which shows engagement with the topic.
task achievement
The essay presents clear ideas and arguments, indicating that the writer has thought about the topic in detail.
coherence cohesion
The writer has made an effort to discuss different aspects of the issue, which adds depth to the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite