IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at 4 years old while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

#countries #children #education #years #school #seven #eight
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In some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 it is thought advisable that
children
Use synonyms
 begin formal
education
Use synonyms
 at 4
years
Use synonyms
 old
while
Linking Words
 in others they do not have to start
school
Use synonyms
 until they are seven or eight.
Although
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 in Azerbaijan used to start at the
age
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 of 6, it has been starting at the
age
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 of 5 for the
last
Linking Words
 2-3
years
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. I am against starting at 5
years
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 old because not all
children
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 have the same perception and at 5
years
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 old they are still discovering new things on their own. I am in favor of them going to kindergarten until the
age
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 of 6 or 7, because it is
stronger
Correct word choice
easier
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 for them to start their socialization period there, to build relationships by playing games and having fun. In countries
such
Linking Words
 as the United States of America and China, formal
education
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 begins at the
age
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 of 4-5, which depends on
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cultural, social, and individual factors. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a punishment for
children
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 because they take away the entertainment in their life and it is burdened at the earliest
time
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 of childhood. I don't agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, because some parents keep their
children
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 for an extra year and send them to
school
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 at the
age
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 of 8 because they don't want to. If a child does not have any problems related to his health, they should not be late to
school
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 without natural compulsion. Because the expression "
time
Use synonyms
 is gold" fits perfectly, it is an advantage for them not to lag behind their peers in
time
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. But some
family's
Fix the agreement mistake
families'
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 economic situation,
low
Correct word choice
and low
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 income level may be a reason for their
children
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 to start
school
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 late or not at all. In
this
Linking Words
 regard, we are lucky that public schools are free, only
school
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 supplies and uniforms are provided by us. In my opinion, in front of
this
Linking Words
 advantage, those who do not go to
school
Use synonyms
 lose many things without even knowing it. Because in childhood, our brain is as clean as white paper and ready to receive new information. In my opinion, since the ideal
age
Use synonyms
 to start
school
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 is 6, a child who grew up having fun until
this
Linking Words
age
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 should take a step forward in
education
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 with a sense of responsibility at the
age
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 of 6, and the state
Add the comma(s)
, as well as parents,
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 parents should support them in the name of becoming bright people of the future. In conclusion,
education
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 should be important for every young person
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 at
this
Linking Words
time
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 and to see the hard work of it, it should be progressed in
education
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 from an early
age
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.
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coherence cohesion
Include a clearer introduction that outlines the structure of the essay. This will guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it with relevant examples or elaboration. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more coherent.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion of both views on the topic. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue and improve your task achievement score.
task achievement
Include more detailed and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more compelling and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a personal viewpoint on the issue, which shows engagement with the topic.
task achievement
The essay presents clear ideas and arguments, indicating that the writer has thought about the topic in detail.
coherence cohesion
The writer has made an effort to discuss different aspects of the issue, which adds depth to the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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