In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
There is no doubt that
obesity
has increased dramatically and become a major problem. It is considered by some thoughts, that junk-foodfood advertisements
contribute to the obesity
phenomenon, while
others argue that fast food
advertising should not be banned. This
essay will delve into both views and subsequently
will explore my own viewpoint.
Because of the distribution of junk food
advertisements
in every corner of urban cities such
as train stations, highways, and main roads. The junk food
advertisements
show affordable prices with the beauty of meals which are easy for everyone to payfor
. Later on, obviously, people would keep the same image in their minds and will buy fast Correct your spelling
pay for
food
during their hunger.
Based on the latest survey has been conducted by MOH, shows the increasing rate of obesity
. There are several factors for this
problem. One of the main causes can be seen is a lack of workouts because of the advances in technology and they are busy in their life. From that, people tend to lose their fitness.The second factor is less awareness of health education which often leads to a growing the
amount of diseases.
There are some actions that could be taken by governments to reduce the impact of overweight. The government could encourage restaurants to provide Correct article usage
apply
light
calories Correct word choice
apply
of
meals to enhance the individual's lifestyle. Change preposition
apply
Also
, they could instruct the junk-
Correct your spelling
junk food
food
business to post high-calorie advertisements
.
In conclusion, it is evident the obesity
phenomenon has appeared during the global market development and the advanced technology. The government must ensure all steps are taken to ensure and expand health awareness among every member.Submitted by rajaa.albriki on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next. This will help improve coherence and make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Avoid grammatical mistakes such as run-on sentences and misplaced modifiers. Spending a bit more time on proofreading can help.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help in making your points stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay discusses both viewpoints and provides a conclusion that ties your arguments together.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, giving a clear outline of the essay's content and summarizing the discussion effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.