Some people see sports only as a leisure activity while others believes sports play a more important role .Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is asserted
by
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some individuals that
games
are only a way of enjoying their free
time
whereas
others think that
sports
play a crucial
role
.
Although
games
are
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
way to spend idle
time
,I believe that these play more imperative roles
such
as physical fitness and job opportunities To commence with,
sports
are an excellent means of relaxation and amusement,so are thought to be an idle
time
activity.To elaborate,most
of
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people like to play some
games
with their friends and family in the evening after the long working hours at their jobs ,
therefore
,playing with loved ones becomes an activity of enjoyment which can give relief from the exhaustion of jobs.
For example
,
according to
a survey done in India almost 70% of working women like to spend their evenings
by
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playing badminton with their friends which gives them a stress-free feeling.
Hence
,
games
can rejuvenate
gloomy
Correct article usage
the gloomy
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moods of most
of
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apply
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people.
On the other hand
,
games
play a vital
role
instead
of just
bieng
Correct your spelling
being
a leisure
time
activity as getting indulged in
sports
activities is imperative for physical fitness.To explain it,people who play
games
daily and do some exercises,always stay healthy and happy because diseases stay away from them.
Moreover
,
games
also
inculcate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ethics in the players
such
as socialization,discipline and team spirit.
Further
,
sports
provide multifarious job opportunities and professionals in
this
field earn much more money than any other job.
For instance
,the salary of the Indian cricket coach is about two lakh per month which is a huge amount to be earned by a trainer.
Thus
,
sports
play a significant
role
in human life. In conclusion,
although
games
help in spending spare
time
,it does not mean that it is the only
role
played by
games
as these are essential for
overall
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the overall
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growth of an individual and
also
provide
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
to players.
Submitted by japjotsandhu8553 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Clarify and expand on ideas to make them more comprehensive. Some points are implied rather than clearly stated.
task achievement
Work on sentence variety to improve readability and engagement. Overuse of similar sentence structures can make the essay monotonous.
task achievement
You have addressed all parts of the question and provided a balanced discussion on both views.
task achievement
Relevant specific examples like the survey in India and the salary of the Indian cricket coach effectively support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-rounded conclusion that summarizes your main ideas effectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally supported with adequate explanations and examples, making your arguments more convincing.
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