Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Television
, friends, music
, and family is
a few Correct subject-verb agreement
are
factors
that involved
in a Add a missing verb
are involved
child
's growth. These factors
has
been a debatable issue since there are two different views on the most important Change the verb form
have
factors
of the development
of children
nowadays. One of which says the day-to-day thing that the
Correct article usage
apply
children
experiences
Change the verb form
experience
such
as television
, friends, and music
are the main factors
, and the other says children'
families still play a huge part in their Change noun form
children's
development
.
I personally think that there is no right or wrong with those two views since every child
's development
is different from one another depend
on what they Change the form of the verb
depending
actually
interested in. The Add a missing verb
are actually
children
themself will eventually discover what they really
interested in and we, as their parents are responsible Add a missing verb
are really
to
Change preposition
for
accomodate
it with Correct your spelling
accommodating
factors
that Correct article usage
the factors
said
above.
Add a missing verb
are said
Television
, music
, and gadgets that
is
popular towards Change the verb form
are
children
nowadays have many positive impact
towards Change to a plural noun
impacts
the
Correct article usage
apply
childrens
with Correct your spelling
children
adults
supervision. There are many educational Fix the agreement mistake
adult
tv
shows, songs, games, videos, and any kind of Correct your spelling
TV
entertaiments
for Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertainments
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
all over the television
and internet
. Correct article usage
the internet
Scientific
journal once said that decent Correct article usage
A scientific
music
and entertaiment
can stimulate Correct your spelling
entertainment
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
development
excellently, it can stimulate them to start talking and be more understandable
towards their environment. Friends Replace the word
understanding
are
Verb problem
apply
also
played
a big influence towards Wrong verb form
play
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
's development
by being socialized,
because they tend to understand one another since they are in the same Remove the comma
apply
range of age
.
Aside from those that are on the outside of the Correct your spelling
age range
children
's inner circle, their family of course take a biggest part of their life. Their family is the first thing that they know in this
world and they will oversee their family as their role model. As a child
with a little knowledge, they will absorb all the thing
that their Fix the agreement mistake
things
family's
Change the noun form
families
family
does
and follow them as Correct subject-verb agreement
do
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
living
their Wrong verb form
live
child
's life
.
With that being said, I think those two views; external Fix the agreement mistake
lives
factors
and internal factors
, are equally important for a child
's development
. Thus
, as a child
's guardian, we adults have to supervise and choose the right environment for the child's
externally (outside the house) and internally (inside the house) throughout. Change noun form
child
With
making the best environment for the Change preposition
By
children
, their best development
will follow.Submitted by Selectnames
on
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grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy by checking verb agreements, such as 'factors that are' instead of 'factors that is'.
coherence
Use transitions effectively to ensure smooth flow between ideas. For instance, words like 'furthermore', 'likewise', and 'consequently' can help in linking sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to back up your points. This can substantiate your arguments and make them more convincing.
introduction
The introduction clearly defines the two perspectives.
content
There is a balanced discussion on both views regarding a child's development.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively synthesizes the two perspectives and presents a clear personal opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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